Reality of Life and Loss

A friend of mine just lost his father on Dec 31 2011
The end of a year... the end of a precious, amazing life (here on earth).

People go into New Years Eve taking stock of their past year.
The amazing memories, the wise choices, but also the regrets.
A new year is coming so they look forward to making more memories and hopefully no regrets.

My hope for this coming year is to cherish my loved ones.
My friend's loss has reminded me how quickly and unexpected loss can happen.
i have been facing those thoughts over the past month as I have been facing the mortality of my own dad.

He has recently discovered he has cancer and as of January 2012 he will be undergoing both radiation and chemotherapy.  the reality of this has been hard to take.

Some losses come unexpectedly. 
accidents, heart attacks...
some losses may take years to happen.
illnesses, or natural causes...
but losses will happen. 

We don't know how long each of us has to spend on this earth.
I hope that any regrets that we have as we look back on the past year have nothing to do with showing love to those we care about. 
may the regrets we have be nothing about wishing we had spent more time with those we no longer can.. or never telling them how much we loved them. 

As 2011 ends and 2012 begins let's make sure we remember to love each moment of each day. 
forgive, love, cherish, hug, kiss, laugh, share, build memories that you'll enjoy remembering. 
i love my dad...he is one of the most special men in my life.
my friend loves his dad, and misses him like crazy.
but i know his dad knew he was loved by his son.

let's make sure to cherish the lives around us and not regret when they are lost.

Just a Spoonful of Sugar...

I got an early Christmas gift from my parents.

i know it's after Christmas right now but I got it the weekend before.

My dad figured it would help us as we decided when we were heading to Toronto to visit them over these holidays.

I love Mary Poppins.

I love theatre & musicals.

my dad got me 2 ticket to go see Mary Poppins the Musical in Toronto.

I think i said thank you.

i do know that i suddenly couldn't stop talking.

When i get excited i begin to babble - and babble i did.

i have introduced the movie to my kids and they like most of it.

(the girl doesn't like the 'pirates' that shoot their cannons at the 'guys dancing up on the white house')

i am looking forward to going.. to experience this musical.

i'll tell you about it after.

A Journey Home

I love being on stage.

I love watching a performance come together.

I love sharing this experience with the rest of the cast and support crew.

we have been rehearsing since mid September(?)

and on Sunday night we wrapped up our 2 performances.

it's always a bitter-sweet night.

yay, we're all done, and now maybe i can get some rest.

but, oh, we're done.  All that time, energy, excitement... wow, that was so fast.

(the following pics were taken at the dress rehearsal)

Thank you to all who were a part of this year's performance.

Janice for the words and drawing the picture for us.

Matt for the dream that became a reality this weekend.

Barb for believing in us and guiding us through it all.

Tech guys for all your crazy hard work and dedication

Robin & Cami for your amazing stand-in work, commitment, stage help, prompting and encouragement.

Construction crew for.. well, the amazing set.

HHS, and anyone else who donated books... that was a HUGE library we had to fill.

spouses, families, friends who supported these crazy rehearsals, for praying, for coming and inviting others.

anyone i missed - - sorry.  but please know you were appreciated!

and thanks to Jade for taking some pics for me since I couldn't do it.

too cute

Dan and the boy are heading to Illinois for a wedding. 

- Dan's cousin is getting married -

the boy is Dan's date and will get to meet some family he's never met before.

Yesterday, in the car, i listened to the boy telling his sister what he was going to be doing.

I couldn't hear what the girl was saying

"*I'm going on a road trip."

(* pronounced I'n)

"No, Papa's not coming"

 " Not with you.  with daddy, gamma, gampa and Cooper (the dog)" 

"I don't know...."

"I'm getting married to somebody."

I had to tell him that he wasn't the one getting married and that he was going to watch someone get married.

His face fell.

He looked so sad about that.

a prayer for the Cast of our Christmas Performance.

It's raining out.

the crazy snow we had is melting.

there are 11 days until Christmas.

but only 3 nights until our Christmas Performance.

A JOURNEY HOME

this week is crazy.

i am at the church every evening.

Last night i stayed after the rehearsal to prime the stairs, on the set.

i got home at 2:15am.

tonight is dress rehearsal #1

"Oh Lord, please help us all know our lines.

Please don't let us play a character, but let us BE that character.

when we step on stage, each night, i ask that we see through our character's eye, speak with his/her voice.  hear with his/her ears, may our actions, mannerisms, laughter, be the character we have become.

Thank you for the talent of the people involved.

i love them like family Lord. 

I am so honored that you allow me the opportunity each year to be able to be a part of these performances.

May the performances this year be pleasing.. very pleasing to you.

You have gifted us.

Our directors, writers, tech guys.

our builders, painters, creative geniuses.

our actors, stage crew, prompter.

and everyone else involved that i have no idea about.

Thank you for our families

who allow us to take the time to be out there doing what we are passionate about.

Help us as we strive to bring you the best.

to bring the community of Huntsville the best.

Help us not be shy, not be distracted, not be sick.

Help us to be confident, be strong, bold, healthy.

I ask for your blessing on those of us in this production.

i ask for your blessing on each of the audience members.

some don't know if they'll go yet. 

Use us to show them who you are.

Thank you for Christmas.

Thank you for sending Jesus, your son, as a baby.

thank you for easter, Lord.

without Christmas, Easter would not have happened." 

"Wow, Anna, it sounds like there might be a lot more to this story!" - Gail



School Days.. part 1: bus pick up

My 4 year old started school in September.

He was going to love his teachers.

He was going to make the bestest friend ever.

He was going to have so much fun at school and love going each day.

He was going to ride the bus, as he had been dreaming about.

Elijah driving a school bus in 2009

those were my plans.

Reality is so much different sometimes.

The first couple days of school he didn't ride the bus - the bus company had never sent me info - and for a first time mom of a school kid, that was quite irritating.

The info the school had for me about it didn't make sense.

we live directly on the bus route but the info said we had to walk along our busy road - with no shoulder on it - to another house 5 minutes away. 

Day 2 of school we walked to the stop and the bus drove right past us.

Needless to say, i was quite frustrated.

We walked back home, loaded into the car and drove to the school.

(now, i never had to take a bus to school, so the whole bus aspect of school was new to me too, so i was beginning to hate the idea.)

The boy was quite upset since he had wanted to go on the bus so badly.

I was upset because 'the system' was stupid. 

don't make us walk to some random house when no other kids were waiting there..
only to have the bus not even pick up my son.

we arrived at the school and dropped off my little JKer

I went to the office with the girl and planned to get the number for the bus company. 

i was ready to complain and fight.

i got the number and explained my situation to the amazing woman behind the main office desk. 

She checked in their computer to make sure I was given the correct info. 

I was.

as i was preparing to leave, the tears started. 

I couldn't help it.

She called me back to her desk and did the calling for me.

She told them the driver had not stopped and confirmed info. with them.

I had also asked if they could pick him up at our house since we are on the route.

that was a school board issue. 

She called the school board for me.

the girl was, thankfully, quite happy reading some books they had in the office.

well..

after some phone calls the realization was there that the computer had us down as a HOME PICK-UP.

but I didn't live at that address.

a little correction and a call to the bus company.

and LOTS of apologies, since she figured it was her own clerical issue that had caused this mess.

 The boy is now picked up at our house every monday, wednesday and friday.

how he likes it is for another entry.

snow angels

so it snowed today. 

the kids were so excited to see it.

after lunch we went out to play in it..

so you know, the grass is currently still visible.

but my kids...

they laid right down and began their first snow angels of the year.

too cute!

then we made a little army of snowmen to guard our steps.

only daddy the t-rex (king of the jungle - according to elijah) can get by them.

i grabbed my camera.

turned it on.

held it to my eye...

oops, the battery is dead.

but picture this:

two snow-clothed little rug rats.

smiles, laughter...

plopping their bodies flat onto the grassy snow..

and swinging their arms and legs for their angels.

light snow falling all around them.

priceless.

wish there was enough snow to actually leave an angel imprint.

a big Thank You

Courage is standing and fighting even when you want to turn and run. 

to all our veterans and current members of the Canadian Armed Forces:

THANK YOU.

I wrote more last year:  Remember.

creativity

I married a creative genius.

that may not be how he would describe himself.

he can build and create some pretty spectacular pieces of work.

i have a page on this blog dedicated to the things we make, but this piece...

I had to make sure it was seen by everyone who checked out the blog.

He made me a lamp this year.

from a tree in our back yard.

my job was to paint the lantern covers.

we're a pretty good team i'd say.

Sick Day

So, my son is home from school today - sick.

honestly he's getting over whatever he had yesterday but i kept him home to rest a little more. 

he's so tired lately.

School's a big adjustment for a little body.

well, we decided to have a party tonight
- and to have a party, one needs a cake -

so we got to work on it.

the kids donned their aprons
(hand-me-downs from my mom's kitchen)

and we got to work.

flour.. check.

sugar.. check.

milk... oh crap. 
i had maybe 2/3 a cup of milk.

i was going to go to the store this today after the girl and I went to a friend's house but my plans all changed when the boy still ran a slight fever.
(or he was just warm from his comfy bed).

into the car we piled and off we drove to Kawartha Dairy.

love the drive thru window.

after a stop at Tim Hortons,
and halloween sprinkled donuts,
 we came home to continue the cake.

we got everything else into the bowl and I mixed it.

then the kids were done.

time to enjoy their treat for helping.

i may blow up some balloons and i'll put some icing on the cake. 

it's a party for all of us,

just because we all love eachother.

name a better reason for a party.

good idea kids.

just doing some thinking today.

4 years ago I had a baby boy.

we did almost everything together.

today he is in Junior Kindergarten.

he is dressed as a soccer player.

2.5 years ago I had a baby girl

she did almost everything with me and my boy.

today she is making a tower beside me.

There is a cow standing on the tower.

don't wish the days and years of playing and learning to be gone.

cherish the children in your life.

love the children in your life.

hug and kiss the children in your life.

or they will grow up before you realize it.

they go from learning to walk on the living room floor

to walking right out your door

and into their own grown up lives

and you will wish you could have those days and years back.

(the cow is now off the tower and she has made a duplo motorboat)

for Vanessa

the following photos are for my friend, Vanessa.

She misses our Ontario Autumn.

Vanessa, I hope this helps you on the days you miss home.

(remember how much you are loved from here too)



Job 38 (partially)

1. Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm.  He said:

... ...

4. Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me if you understand.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

12,13. Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn it's place, that it might take the earth by it's edges and shake the wicked out of it?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

22.  Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail...

...

24.  What is the way to the place where lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?

25.  Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm...

Terry Fox Run

So, on Sunday the 18th, i participated in the Terry Fox Run again.
this year my dad joined us.

it was a family affair.

My mom wasn't able to run or walk it with us so she stayed at the start/finish line cheering us all on.

Dan and the boy biked the 10km.  the boy loved it, riding his bike attached to the back of Dan's bike.

My dad pushed the girl in the jogging stroller as he ran & walked the 5km.  I was very proud of my dad for doing this with us.

I had our dog, Jack, with me as i ran (with a little walking) the 5km.

What awesome weather.

beautiful sunshine and  the temperature... so warm.

we all did it separately but we were definitely a team.

i was honored to run it again to help cancer research.

date night 2

i had date night with my daughter.

we went biking.
we brought our dog... he loves when we go biking.
we just rode to an orchard nearby and spent a little time there before having to head back to our home before the sun was down too far. 
we had a great time that night.

i love our date nights...
dan took the girl canoeing.

school

So, it's September.

Schooltime.

we made the decision to:   
wait for it.......
send our boy to Public school.
collective gasps all around.

Why public school?
don't you know homeschooling is an option?
don't you know christian schools are an option?
do you know what they teach in a public school?

i know.
we're the minority - or at least it seems as though thats the fact these days.
especially in the Christian circles.

i know great people who were homeschooled, and attended Christian, and even, public schools..
i also know weird people who did each as well.

Sure, my son may be taught things in the public school curriculum that i do not agree with or goes against our values and beliefs.

i have to remember what my husband reminds me of:
i have to trust God.
I need to give our kids into God's care as they leave our house and go out the door each day.
I need to be pro-active in knowing what our kids are learning at school.

i am their mother.
I am their caregiver.
but
i am also their teacher. 

and just because I send my kids 'to the wolves' it doesn't mean i relinquish my role as teacher too. 
i can't back off and expect them to learn everything they need to know from their teachers or friends.
i need to be involved.  I need to teach the Biblical Truths so they are able to make wise decisions and choices as they grow. 

i love my kids.
we have decided to send them to public school.

who knows, maybe homeschooling might be an option, but currently it is not.

date night

monday night was date night.

dan took his little girl canoeing.

i took my little boy biking.

he talked so much while biking.

we talked so much when we were:

walking the bike up some hills,

eating popsicles and walking to see some horses,

eating popsicles and turning home instead of going to see the horses,

playing his new 'Pop 'n Go' game.

next month we switch.

Heaven

so the other day i was sitting at the table and my, now 4 year old, little boy came and sat across from me.

Him: "mommy, i don't want to go to heaven."

he had abviously been thinking it through.

Me: "why not?"

Him: "because there might be scary things there."

M: "there aren't scary things in heaven."

Him: "Well, there might be some there and I don't want to go if there's scary things."

M: "Heaven is where God and Jesus live and they won't have scary things there.  When you're in heaven there won't be anything to scare you anymore."

Him: "there might be big dogs and big cats."

M: "honey, if God wants big dogs and big cats in heaven then you'll like them, not be scared of them.

 do you know who lives in heaven now?"

Him: "God and Jesus."

M: "Great Grandpa is also there."

Him: "Maybe when i go to heaven i can visit Great grandpa."

I think he'd like that.

Hypocrite?

**Chris Tomlin - probably my favorite writer/singer of 'worship' music.**

This song brings me chills. 

i love the words.

we sang it at church this morning.

when i sing it i believe the words,

but

today as I was singing it I got to thinking.

"do I truly believe it? do I live as though I believe what I'm singing?"

I know how songs like this can get me.

chills.

tears.

passions arise.

what do i do with all that after the song is over?

I sing these songs in church

I raise my hands

sing loud

close my eyes

cry

I feel close to God.

I feel His presence.

I stop singing.

I sit down.

 

God knows I do believe the words.

God knows i want to be Joshua,

Daniel,

Shadrach (and friends),

 Peter,

Stephen,

Mary.

God knows I also struggle daily with stepping out with confidence.

I just need to be willing.

4

Four years ago.

6:05pm

Aug 1

I met the most adorable baby boy.

the boy is now 4.

wow.

he still makes my heart melt.

he still makes me laugh.

he still makes me cry.

he still holds my hand.

he still gives the best hugs (right around my neck).

he still loves his Bear.

he still loves morning hugs.

he still loves to sing and dance.

he still loves to cuddle.

he still loves to imagine.

he asked me the other day

"mommy, when I get as big as daddy can i be a worker man"

my boy, you can be anything you set your mind to.

and if worker man is what you want to be - awesome!

happy birthday to my little worker man in training...

or are you a fireman in training today?

cupcakes for the family bday party on sat.

requested: fire truck cake

HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY MY BOY!

36 things

today is my birthday.

I turn 36.

instead of thinking how I'll be 40 in just 4 years :) 

I will spend it being thankful.

(in no particular order - just how they came to mind)

1. as a little girl I had great walks with my dad at the beach throwing stones.

2. my two beautiful children

3. cats I loved and cherished as i grew up. (especially skippy who shared my pillow haha!!)

4. opportunities to take part in dramatic productions. (many over the years)

easter performance

5. crushes who helped me see what I hoped to find in a husband... and what I hoped not to find.

6. i am a child of God.  I made a decision to accept Christ and thankfully even when I mess up He still holds onto me.

7. a husband even better than I could have ever imagined.

8. a big brother who has always made me laugh.

9. a house to call my own.

10. being there when Joe Carter hit the World Series winning home run.. and almost being thrown over the edge by my brother when he hugged me. (we were sitting on the 200 level)

11. being encouraged to pursue things I love.

12. road trips with friends/husband (arkansas, florida, wv, manitoba)

Gilbert, Arkansas: me, nog, andy, jen

13. train trips across Canada

14. worked at Camp Widjiitiwin for many years - love being a part of camp life.

15. dual citizenship

16. amazing in-laws.

17. my camp name: felix.  I love it.

18. Maple Leaf vs. Red Wings games at Maple Leaf Gardens (against the glass)

19. trip to Germany in grade 10

20. amazing trip to Northern Ireland and England (cambridge & birmingham) in grade 7.  watching my dad become like a child as he returned home.

dad, tim, mom, me

21. playing smurfs with my brother outside in our backyard.

22. a husband who can fix my car, fix everything in the house and loves to teach me how to do it all too.

23. opportunities to take care of amazing kids (dylan, luke, dallas, eden, paige, teagan to name a few)

24. being able to read.  (such a wonderful ability i never want to take for granted)

25. friends.

26. late night talks with my mom.. and I do mean late night.

27. room/housemates i've had (rusty, elisa, cheryl, jen, theresa, ak, heather 'ditto', michelle 'fugee')

Manitoba: jen, theresa, me

28. amazing nieces and nephews

29. my blanket - even though my brother lost it when he hid it on me... i still think granny stole it.

30. winter doesn't last forever.

31. a husband who encourages me through my fears.

32. trips to Mexico and Nicaragua - able to experience their world and have them share Christ's love with me as I help build there.

33. creativity

34. rain (i love it's rainy today on my birthday)

35. hot days, cool nights

36. sisters (erin, rusty, elisa, heidi.  again, to name only a few)

King Arthur's Castle

I love to create.

I love to allow my artistic side to shine.

I love to see something I have made, or been a part of, come together and truly turn out amazing.

this past weekend I was asked to come to camp and help paint the castle for the upcoming theme.

King Arthur's Court.

I jumped at the chance and was there on friday to start.

i spent from 9:30 - 2:30 Friday

then again Saturday, 9:30 - around 2ish.

painting.

creating.

loving.

happy.

then I came home, picked up dan and the kids.

we went back to camp and dan helped put the castle walls up.

there is a joy in my heart when I see it all come together.

we finished up some of the building and painting.

Around 7:30 we left camp.

2 exhausted & hot kids

2 exhuasted & hot parents

1 joy-filled heart.

***there were sme finishing touches to be put on it sunday morning, and I hope to see them soon.***

*Special shout out to: Moose, ShamWOW, Bandit, Sunshine, Yacko, Mumz, and the guys who helped put the walls up.

Thank you for all the work you did on this project.*

freckles

my little girl has some tiny freckles.

I love them.

only about 4.

miniscule, but I noticed them the other day.

look closely and you may see them.

Drilling

Whenever dan goes to make something the boy always joins him with his tool box and tools. 

the boy's tools are made of wood.

Dan just finished making a screen door and put it in.

the boy helped carry the real drill and screws up.

"Daddy i know how to do this without getting hurt"

So dan showed him how to use the drill and we watched as he drilled about 10 screws into the door.

(into previously drilled holes)

killer seatbelt drama

this saturday I had the opportunity to go to Wonderjam at Canada's Wonderland.



i'm taking the pic; these are the fun people I went with.

i wanted to see the bands...

ok, really just one band....

and of course to ride the rides too.

what a good day.

after sharing 2 XL Pizzas from Pizza Pizza

and a ride up at 301 ft

Windseeker.

it was time for my anticipated concert.
Skillet.

the guy introducing them said that 'they have a killer seatbelt drama.'

a what? 
i asked dan. 

I had no idea what a 'seatbelt drama' was, but dan heard correctly.

'they have a killer female drummer.'

(made much more sense - and they really do)

Skillet has to be one of the best live shows. 

they were amazing. 

the violin and cello.....

i don't have words to describe them.

I sat at the back, on the grass.

not the best location to film with a little olympus camera, but here's a little taste of their final song.

thank you Micaela for the tickets to go.  

you are awesome!

Changed.... yet again

Alright.

those of you who actually read this thing, no matter how often, have seen a few changes happen to the look of it.

I think i said i wouldn't change it again too soon, the last time I did it.

sorry.

i got sick of the look.

when I read other blogs I say to myself

"i like how this one looks, I need to fix the look of mine."

I'd promise i won't change it again,

but..

we all know i can't keep that promise.

currently i really like this look.

sorry if you don't.

but here's a new photo anyway :)

daddy

sunday was father's day.

any man can be a father.

i have a dad.
a daddy.

my dad:

spent time with me.  

played games with me.

teased me.

made me laugh.

loved me.

carried me up to bed when I fell asleep in front if the tv

(or when I pretended to be).

helped me with homework.

came to special events.

inspired me to be my best.

showed me when it meant to love others.

taught me the value of money.

hugged me.

never gave me reason to doubt his love.

my kids have a dad.

a daddy.

i am so thankful for my dad

and my husband (the dad of my kids)

Happy (belated) daddy's day!