tears

i felt as though i had cried forever.

i felt sad and didn't know why.

i was worn out.

Last night at bed time i just wanted to curl up, all cozy and warm.

my eyes weren't sore.

my face was free of dried tear streaks.

my heart was not heavy.

but i felt like it.

why?

because when my daughter cries as hard as she did last night

i feel like i did too.

empathy?

guess so.

it was WooWoo Wednesday.

E: school

D: Music Class

All: Pizza for supper

E&D: to the church for kids'program.

D&M: ice cream and home depot.

not last night.

our little girl began the tears right after supper when she started thinking about going to Cubbies.

she used to cry when we dropped her off at something and then shut off the tears when we left.

and have fun.

last week that did not happen.

she cried the whole time.

this week the tears began at home.

and they. were. real.

she tried to shut them off, but the sobs were so strong.

she was going to bring lammie with her so she could be stronger.

tears slowed at times, but the sobs never stopped, 

even when we were pulling into the parking lot.

those eyes.

when she sobs..

those eyes..

they pull you in.  

her brother had a rough time the first year for him.

he would bring bear and the tears would stop.

lammie..annie (a dog)...even their blankets...

none of them were helping her.

i sat there with her for a couple minutes, 

while dan dropped off her brother at his group for their games night.

i did not feel as though she was trying to 'pull one over on me'

i could see true sadness in her eyes.

she came home with me last night.

no ice cream and home depot for dan and i.

she got ready for bed and the tears were slowing, but the sobs still came.

we sat on the couch and watched a show.  

her eyes were so heavy.

we just cuddled.

then it was bed time.

tears started again.

this time because 'Doggie' was in the wash.

after singing Amazing Grace to her

praying with her

and some big hugs and kisses

she went to sleep.

when 'doggie' was dried i went in and placed him in her arms.

i went to the couch and crashed.

dan put elijah to bed when they got back home.

i curled up in a blanket.

dan and i watched an X-Files.

then bedtime.

i was ready for bed.

worn out.

emotionally drained.

i guess that's what loving kids is.

when they're hurt..

you hurt.

when they're sad..

you're sad.

when they rejoice..

you rejoice.

their laughter..their tears..

yours.

someone once said that being a parent is learning what it truly means to love like Christ.

that's a powerful love.