Tuesday, November 6, 2012

parenting advice: to take or not to take.

nov. 1st.
i went to an intimate gathering to hear Alyson Schafer.
(who's that?  check out her website here

maybe 20 of us in the library of a school.
the night was for moms (parents) to ask her questions...
and receive some advice.

now, 
i don't usually read parenting books.
i do ask advice of people i respect,
but have no desire to sit and read about how to handle problems.
i have tried.
i need verbal advice.

was i excited to be going?
not really.
looking forward to an evening out with my friend?
yes.
hoping to come home with something to think about?
yes.

Alyson Schafer is a good speaker.
she is funny.
she is blunt.
she keeps attention.
i did enjoy the evening.

She had good points, 
and she would give different ideas to use in situations.
allow kids to be kids.
that included fights, and letting the battles happen..
allow them to figure out how to resolve their own issues, 
and not constantly step in.
don't take sides.
re-word praise so they can feel proud of their own efforts, 
and not only receiving how you feel.
treat the kids as a team, not one over the other.
they need to work together on things. - for example: tidying the living room.

all things i knew, 
all things i have acknowledged before.
she gave ways to actually do them.
suggestions.

i do take them as suggestions.
i do not take them as gospel.
but i have found that in the few days i have tried to apply some of the suggestions, 
i have seen a difference.
mostly in me.
i am not afraid to let the kids argue and resolve things.
i have had more patience this week.
i have been able to be more calm.
i have felt 'allowed' to walk out of the room when a fight begins.

i have checked out her newest book
it was like a quick reference book.  
informative, and by topic.
for someone who can't sit down and read a whole parenting book, 
this one was good to check out.



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