i can only imagine.

i have a child in elementary school.
and one will be starting next year
this past friday i was at the local early years program
when i came home i checked facebook and read posts about the tragic event in connecticut
i had to find out what they were talking about.

wow.

so sad.

i felt sick to my stomach.
and thankful at the same time.
thankful that it was not my son's school.
i can't even imagine how the parents are feeling.
the loss and the hole in their lives that has formed.

at dinner we always ask a couple questions:
1. "what was your favorite part of the day?"
2. "what made you upset today?"
everyone answers the questions and sometimes the answers spark more discussion.

on friday i was asked what made me upset today.
i answered hearing about what happened in CT.
no discussion came from it.
on to the next person.

after dan mentioned that the same thing made him upset i finally asked the kids if they wanted to know what we were talking about.
they did.
i told them that a guy made a choice to hurt little kids.
that he went into their school with a gun wanting to hurt them.
and that he did hurt a lot of them.

my son stared at me.
behind those big blue eyes he was processing what i said.
my little girl cocked her head "did me make them dead?"
i said yes.

i told them that the mommies and daddies wouldn't be having dinner with their little ones like we were doing.
later when i put my daughter to bed i thanked God that i had my little one to kiss goodnight, and prayed for the families who have lost their children.
they kissed them goodbye before school but didn't get to hug them after school..or ever again.

i will not pretend to know their hurt.
i can, honestly, only imagine.