how did i get out of your tummy?

he hadn't been listening..

bedtime had been a fight.  

he had yelled at me. 

he had been crying for a while.

he was supposed to be sleeping.

i went into the room.

tucked him back in as the tears slowed.

he asked for some cuddle time, since we didn't have our cuddle time after school.

so i lay down.

"i love you baby boy"

"mommy i'm not a baby."

"i know.  but you were my baby boy, but now you're growing bigger."

he liked that answer and responded with his sweet smile.

then a little bit later

"mommy, how do babies get out of mommies tummies?"

big blue eyes staring at me questioningly.

"well, you know when you go poo?"

he nods

"when a mommy needs to get her baby out it's kind of like that.  

she pushes and a baby comes out kind of like a poo"

he laughs.

"gross eh?"

he nods and we laugh.

i told him i don't know why God made it so babies are born like that but that's what He wanted.

then we talked a little more. 

i told him how when i held him i fell in love with my little boy.  

he was the first baby i had ever had.

he was my baby boy.

his smile was so sweet as he listened.

i told him that if God was going to give me a boy and a girl that i wanted my boy first.

i wanted my little girl to have a big brother who loves her and takes care of her.

I told him that when he takes her hand and walks into sunday school, that's taking care of her.

him excited to take her on the bus and sit with her next year, that's taking care of her.

"but what about when she's inside and i'm outside.  i can't take care of her then."

i told him that he still loves her and that's what he can do when they're not together.

"mommy, when did you name me?"

"daddy and i had names chosen before you were born.

if you were going to be a girl we were going to name you Virginia Rose.

and if you were a boy you were named Elijah John.

all we knew was that we were having a baby.  

when you were born the doctor said you were a boy.

then she handed you to me and as soon as i held you i looked at you and said 

'hi Elijah John'."

"how did you hold me?"

i showed him how i would have been holding him.

"when i held you you took my finger and held it, because your hands were so tiny they couldn't hold more than that."

he looked at his hands.

i asked him if he wanted to know why we chose Elijah and John as his names.

he did.

"Elijah was a guy in the Bible. have you heard of him?"

he nodded.

"he loved God and told others about God.  and John.. we chose that name because that's Papa's name, and uncle John's, but i chose that because i love my daddy, he's an amazing man, and i wanted you to have his name."  

our discussion didn't last too much longer.  

he was so curious.

so happy to have me tell him about that first day.

how small he was. 

who were the first people to meet him.  

what he looked like.  

what i thought when i looked at him.

finally i asked him if he could sleep now.

he did and after a hug, he rolled over and i turned out his light.

times like these are so precious.

i am so thankful for these times.

love you baby boy.