3 days

3 days my husband's alarm has gone off and i've woken up.

3 days i have turned on my bedside lamp and sat up in my bed.

3 days i have reached down beside my bed and brought up my Bible, my workbook and a pen.

3 days i have been working through the book of Hebrews.

that's what the ladies group at the church is going through each week.

i'll be honest.

i don't know how much i'm currently getting out of these past three mornings.

i'm fighting to keep my eyes open.

i immediately lay back under the covers as the radio turns on for my alarm.

i listen to the news and weather.

then it's time to get dressed and go wake the little ones for school.

3 days.

i am tired.

and i've specifically gone to bed earlier that i had been - knowing that i'd be getting up a half hour earlier than normal.

i do notice a difference though.

when i'm getting the kids up i can tell i didn't just get up.

i'm not groggy from sleep.

i'm more alert and even patient as they don't want to get up just yet.

i know it will get easier.

i've done this before. 

i've done this before.

how many times have i began this routine.

isn't it always this way?

i know that first thing in the morning is the best time for me to spend some quiet time focusing on God and His Word.  

i know i won't once the day begins.

i get back into this routine.

wake earlier.

read Bible, pray, journal - whatever it is i do - i spend some time focused on God.  

learning more about Him, talking to Him, crying out to Him, thanking Him, learning that those who are told about in the Bible were just as weak as i feel sometimes.

i love the days i do this.

it usually goes well for a while.

gets easier to wake up and focus.

then it isn't so easy.

and i go back to sleep when the first alarm goes off.

i don't turn on my light.

i don't grab my Bible.

i sleep til it's news time.

then i drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day.

i very rarely stop and have that much needed quiet time once i head downstairs.

i know i'm not alone in this constant struggle.

i love God.

i love Jesus.

i want to know them.

i want to grow in my faith, knowledge, passion for them.

it's so hard to take that time each day.

it's so easy to sit at the computer.

it's so easy to pick up a novel, turn on the tv, wash dishes...

it's so easy to do anything and everything else.

i know God is with me every moment of every day, 

but for the past 3 mornings I have chosen to spend some time with Him.

i will keep fighting this struggle.

not because of guilt of missing the time..

but because i can see & feel the difference in my day when i take the time.

keep pressing on.