some thinking about me

so, I'm going to be 36 this summer.

not a significant age except it's the one i'm turning.

I have been doing some thinking about me lately.

i heard once that at 30 a woman knows who she is.

She has confidence in who she is.

i struggle with what others think of me.

I always have.

other people's opinions have always mattered to me.

I've had phases when I don't care what others think and truly don't care.

but that is not me on a regular basis.

I am scared of disappointing others.

I shy from confrontation.

I compare myself to others.

I compare myself to other moms.

I just wrote about dan and I going bouldering.

the first thing i said as we grabbed the crash pads and headed to the rock was

"i don't look like I should be here."

it made me stop and think.

i think that about a lot of things.

I have dreads.

(a mother of 2 shouldn't have dreads)

I wear cords, tshirts and birkenstocks.

(she has no style)

i hate makeup.

(she needs make-up, she'd be pretty)

i wear surf shorts in the summer.

(she looks like a boy)

I love spoon rings.

(ugly things)

I love drama and escaping into a character.

(She is no good at that, someone should tell her)

I have a little girl who hits and pushes anyone smaller.

(she has no control over her kid)

I love to draw.

(that doesn't look like what she thinks it is at all...i don't see it)

I love to play catch with my husband - football or baseball

(she throws like a girl - her arm sucks)

the list could go on and on...

i need to be the woman i am, with confidence. 

I need to believe i am just who God made me to be.

I know I am just who God made me.

I have gifts and talents, and am good at many things.

I worked with youth and kids for years...

my passion was making sure that they have a confidence in who they are and encouraging them. 

I didn't want them to believe the lies I sometimes believe.

but..

some days it's so easy to fall and believe the lies.

Bouldering

Victoria Day Weekend Dan and I headed south.

to West Virginia to be exact.

Why stay home with the cottagers and tourists...

when we had a long weekend to go elsewhere.

We shipped the kids and dog off to dan's parents

- whom I am very thankful to have near.

and off we went down the highway.

Country Road...

Take me home...

To the place I belong...

West Virginia.

WV has beautiful countryside.

WV has the New River Gorge

and it has Cooper's Rock State Forest.

It was at Coopers Rock that we arrived and set up camp.

we had beautiful weather all weekend to do what we enjoy,

and the reason we went.

Dan on the first climb of the weekend

Anniversary

Anniversary: 

1.the yearly occurrence of the date of a past event.

2. the celebration or commemoration of such a date.

Anniversaries are a time to remember.

a wedding anniversary is a time to look back on why you married your spouse. 

why you fell in love with him/her. 

a time to cherish the years you have had

and to look forward to the years to come.

A birthday is the anniversary of your day of birth.

to mark each year you have been alive.

a time to celebrate with friends and family.

The anniversary of the passing of a loved one

brings with it sorrow.

the sorrow and memory of losing that special person

remembering that he/she has not been with you for the past year(s).

it also brings the bittersweet memories of your life with that person.

joys, tears, laughter...

and why you love him/her so much.

remembered, not forgotten - but still painful.

people celebrate anniversaries of many aspects of life.

some people even celebrate certain 'month'iversaries..

especially in relationships. 

the one month!

the six month!

the 18 month!

sometimes people get a little carried away

(especially when an anniversary is supposed to be an annual event).

Some anniversaries are only special to the person who is remembering.

not a time for a party.

not a time for balloons or presents.

just a time for someone to remember.

to remember what happened on that day a year...or many years...ago.

a year ago a very special man passed away

while that same day another very special man survived.

i love them both so much,

and am thankful for the memories with the one,

and for the memories past and still to come with the other.

Mother's Day

When asked "What do you want to do for Mother's Day?"

I generally answer the same thing.

"Let's go for a hike."

I love hiking and being out in God's spectacular creation.

 

This year we went on a hike on the Saturday,

after a morning of yard work.

The dog didn't do so well in the car...

(let's just say he barks really loud!)

The kids did amazing -

the girl didn't need to get in the backpack at all

- her first official hike.

We hiked to a dam &  waterfall. 

Wilson's Falls.

One thing that I loved:

Dan watched the kids while he let me wander and snap some photos.

So nice to be able to do that.