I sit here and look around my living room. The kids and my husband are all in bed. The dog is sleeping. I'm assuming the cat is upstairs with my husband, probably snuggled in on my side of the bed.
I sit here in quiet
except for the dog snoring, the dryer running downstairs and the odd car driving by.
My home is quiet and at peace. My Christmas tree lights are on. I love the Christmas season. There is even a gift under the tree already. It's for me from my girl. She made it with her daddy. I sit here on my rust-orange couch, surrounded by signs of the love my little family has for each other but my heart is heavy. My eyes hurt from a cry I broke down and had at 7:30.
My family is healthy.
in fact, my dad was had his final cancer update appointment and has been told they don't need to see him anymore. My dads fight with cancer was scary, yet so short in comparison to the other fight I'm thinking about tonight.
Today was the first day of the winter. The shortest day of the year. The darkest day of the year. Christmas is 4 days away.
My kids have their last day of school tomorrow. But today... Today I went to celebrate a life.
Cancer sucks. It really does.
Lung cancer in a healthy, active non-smoking young woman, young mom, sucks.
My boy asked me about cancer last night. We chatted about it. He told me he wishes that they would be able to make a pill that they could give someone with cancer and it would get rid of it in a month. That made me smile. Today I wish it had existed a couple years ago, when she was first diagnosed.
I was not a part of her inner circle of friends. But I definitely considered her a friend. We had great talks, good laughs, lots of fun. We have prayed for each other, discussed depression together, chatted running, encouraged each other.
Jody had an infectious laugh, always.
Her smile lit up any room.
She was a determined, strong woman.
Her humor was perfect.
Her love for God...it ruled her life.
Her boys were the most precious gifts and she knew it, and showed it.
I remember one long walk and talk we had. I had just been going through some issues and we met at Tim Hortons. Neither of us wanted to sit, so we went for a walk with our drinks. When we had walked the rather large block we then sat outside Tim Hortons still chatting. That was so long ago now but it gave me a glimpse into Jody as I had never had before. We had ways gotten along but that walk, that talk... I think it cemented Jody into my heart.
God used her that night to encourage me in exactly the way I needed, and I pray I was able to do the same for her.
We never ended up having another planned time like that or a talk so long and deep, and open, but when we got the chance, whenever we did hang out the times were always full of laughter, and joy. She was full of it, she knew that no matter what was going on at the time, no matter how hard or tired she was, that her Lord and Savior was with her, helping her through it. So she was able to have joy, no matter what. And I believe that is why her laughter stayed contagious.
the last specific conversation I recall was brief. It was in the fall. We were in bracebridge for the XC runs our sons were running. I was walking near the finish line and saw her. I knew she had been having a rough time so didn't know if she'd be there. I walked over and she approached me, slowly. I just asked how she was doing that day. She smiled, as always, and said "it's a hard day today." i said "but you're here. they are doing so well today." She said they didn't need to know how bad it was today but they just needed to see her there. Her boy called her and she headed over to him, so proud of him.
I remember pausing, before I headed off with my boy, and watching her hug her son.
That is the last specific memory I have of Jody.
I have been praying for her for so many years through so many life events. I have seen miracles in her life. I have questioned God, and asked why?! I know God is in control, I do believe that Jody lived her life to the full, and she is not having a hard day today.
I am thankful for the opportunity to have Jody in my life.
i will miss her.
but I do not need to pray for Jody anymore.
I will continue to pray for her boys, her family and her inner circle of friends. I will pray for those who have lost that person they call at any time day or night. For those that are missing her as a part of their daily life. I will pray for those who are missing their confidante, their best friend. i will pray for those that as they celebrate Christmas this year, have a broken heart because they do not get to hug her, or laugh with her, or just hold her.
The Lord is close to the broken-hearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit
Psalm 34:18
