forgive me.

a few weeks ago we had a PA day here.

i was so excited for that day with the kids. 

we were going to bring dan and his co-workers some muffins.

then we were going to go to Tim Hortons for lunch.

and finally we'd head to Arrowhead Provincial Park for some skating and maybe snowshoeing or tubing.

those were the plans for the day.

the morning was spent playing in the living room, in jammies.

then time to get ready.

that's when it is now a blur of activity.

i can't recall exactly how and when things began to go downhill.

it just did.

clothes were not being put on... then snowpants etc were not going on.

arguing about everything was happening.

yes, they still wanted to go skating...

i snapped.

i screamed

i yelled.

i threw something.

i stomped up the stairs.

i slammed a door.

i ran to my room.

i cried.

i had a tantrum.

then i heard my boy (on his way to his room - where i had sent them) yell at his sister.

i stomped back downstairs

threw open his door.

pointed my finger in his face and told him not to scream at his sister like that.

i left his room and went back to my room in tears.

i wept.

i just did everything i tell the kids not to do.

i deserved that time out i was giving myself.

i saw my boy afraid when i pointed in his face.

why wouldn't he yell at his sister after the way i had just acted.

he was tired, scared, mad, frustrated too.

i sent dan a text to say we may not be there with the muffins for lunch.

he thought the kids were freaking out.

i let him know it was me.

and we'd be there when we could.

when i calmed down 

i took some deep breaths, asked God for some strength and headed down the stairs.

first to my girl's room.

i knocked and asked if i could enter.

when given permission i opened the door and saw my daughter sitting on her bed, 

surrounded by her stuffies, crying.

i sat facing her.

"i am so sorry."  

i told her i knew what i had done was wrong.

i mentioned that i know it's all the things we ask them not to do when they're tired and get frustrated.  

i apologized again 

(all the while, crying)

and asked my girl to forgive me for how i acted. 

she told me she forgave me and gave me the tightest hug ever.

i told her i love her.  she kissed me and told me she loves me.

she headed back to the basement to get her snow stuff on so we could go out still.

into the boy's room.

the tears were subsiding now.

i knocked on his door.

i heard his tiny voice tell me i could come in.

he was up on his loft bed.

i climbed the ladder and saw him curled up with his stuffies.  

puffy red eyes from crying.

i apologized to him.

i said similar things i had said to the girl.

except i added something for him.

'i am so sorry i pointed my finger in your face.  i saw how scared you were and i am so sorry for that."  we talked a little more.

i asked him to forgive me.

he hugged me and told me he did and he loves me.

i love him so much too.

i didn't bring up what made me frustrated in the first place.  

i didn't need to.

i needed to apologize to my kids. 

i sent myself to my room for a time out until i was ready to talk to them and apologize.

it was such a hard experience.

i had to apologize to my kids. 

i had to admit my fault.  and in no way pass the blame.

they weren't listening, sure.

but it was my choice to react as i did.  and i chose wrong.

i did not make the wise choice that day.

thankfully i did acknowledge it and humbly cried to God and then went to my kids.

the afternoon with the kids turned out amazing.

we had so much fun together.

i stopped stressing about schedule and allowed the day to happen as it would.

the girl and i skated one lap, then our toes were cold so we walked lap 2 while the boy skated.

carrying her skates on our walk around the skating loop.

time for some snowshoeing.

having fun on the snowshoe trail.

 that day has been a constant reminder for me. 

i was scared to tell anyone about it at first.

i felt like it was a failure as a mom... 

as a praying, Christ-loving/following mom.

here i do Bible time with the kids, pray with them, encourage them to make wise choices...

and i have a tantrum like a 2-3 year old.

i shared it with my small group in the thursday women's bible study.

they encouraged me.

it is not a failure.

the tantrum was not the right choice.

but the apologizing was. 

the asking for forgiveness was.

the example i was to my kids is most important.

admitting my wrong was the right thing to do.

but, wow, it was not easy.

Childhood Memories

I remember it.

mom went out.

maybe dad was at work, or he was out with mom.

some furniture was moved out of the way.

the heavy, grey, exercise mats were pulled out.

not so we could put on the Richard Simmons record, and exercise... not this time.

we... my brother (i'll call him The Instigator) and i, rolled the mats up.

they don't roll up so small, and as i have already mentioned, they are heavy.

does anyone remember those types of mats?... heavy!

we couldn't hold them in our hands very well, 

too awkward, 

so we held them with our arms wrapped around.

then the battle would begin.

that's right... battle.

we would go at each other swinging our mats... our weapons.

trying to hit each other.

i remember the fun. 

this secret battle.

i don't remember anyone getting hurt.

how could we - we couldn't really hit eachother so well - 

but maybe one of us did and due to a head trauma, i don't remember it.

i don't remember anything being broken, 

but i have this feeling in my gut that something probably did.

i don't even know if this awesome battle happened more than once, 

but i always think on it as a regular occurrence.

i just remember it being hilarious.  

fun.  

a wonderful memory in my childhood.

i remember them.

The Instigator and i having our own World Wrestling Federation matches out on the front lawn.

the stairs were the top rope.

i do remember people getting hurt... 

our wrestling was pretty real at times.

but nothing too bad, or we wouldn't have done it more than once.

i remember 

The Instigator and i trying to get other kids at our elementary school to sign the petition:

to ban Cabbage Patch Kids.

those things were ugly.

we didn't want to see them at our school.

the petition didn't work.

i remember 

The Instigator being disappointed in his little sister as i bought myself a Cabbage Patch Preemie

-those things were cute.

the original ones were still ugly.

it didn't matter.

i had gone to the dark side.

i remember

Christmas morning.

sneaking down to the Christmas tree.

The Instigator and i trying to guess what each of our gifts were.

there was one that we couldn't figure out at all.

we grabbed a pencil and some paper.

by feeling the wrapped gift we tried to draw what it could be.

still no idea.

it ended up being a wooden ornament that looked nothing like our drawings, 

but even if we had drawn it right - it wouldn't have helped.

i remember 

my mom did home daycare.

at lunch hour i would walk home with the school-aged kids.

we'd have lunch.

then it was time for the dance party.

in the living room, with the toddlers.

then back to school.

what are some of your fun, silly, crazy childhood memories?

were you usually the instigator or was there someone else?

do you still do crazy, fun things like this sometimes?

i still have dance parties.. usually with my kids.

sometimes by myself...  i can't help it. 

the music makes me.

The Instigator and his baby sister.

i think he's already thinking up ideas to get her to do.

we match and my dad matches the chair - 

look, where does his shirt end and the chair begin?

Fort York.  

i was 8.  Instigator was 10.

i believe this was the trip where we also made it look like he was shot by a cannon.

You can check out my brother, The Instigator, at www.upstandingcomedy.ca

3 days

3 days my husband's alarm has gone off and i've woken up.

3 days i have turned on my bedside lamp and sat up in my bed.

3 days i have reached down beside my bed and brought up my Bible, my workbook and a pen.

3 days i have been working through the book of Hebrews.

that's what the ladies group at the church is going through each week.

i'll be honest.

i don't know how much i'm currently getting out of these past three mornings.

i'm fighting to keep my eyes open.

i immediately lay back under the covers as the radio turns on for my alarm.

i listen to the news and weather.

then it's time to get dressed and go wake the little ones for school.

3 days.

i am tired.

and i've specifically gone to bed earlier that i had been - knowing that i'd be getting up a half hour earlier than normal.

i do notice a difference though.

when i'm getting the kids up i can tell i didn't just get up.

i'm not groggy from sleep.

i'm more alert and even patient as they don't want to get up just yet.

i know it will get easier.

i've done this before. 

i've done this before.

how many times have i began this routine.

isn't it always this way?

i know that first thing in the morning is the best time for me to spend some quiet time focusing on God and His Word.  

i know i won't once the day begins.

i get back into this routine.

wake earlier.

read Bible, pray, journal - whatever it is i do - i spend some time focused on God.  

learning more about Him, talking to Him, crying out to Him, thanking Him, learning that those who are told about in the Bible were just as weak as i feel sometimes.

i love the days i do this.

it usually goes well for a while.

gets easier to wake up and focus.

then it isn't so easy.

and i go back to sleep when the first alarm goes off.

i don't turn on my light.

i don't grab my Bible.

i sleep til it's news time.

then i drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day.

i very rarely stop and have that much needed quiet time once i head downstairs.

i know i'm not alone in this constant struggle.

i love God.

i love Jesus.

i want to know them.

i want to grow in my faith, knowledge, passion for them.

it's so hard to take that time each day.

it's so easy to sit at the computer.

it's so easy to pick up a novel, turn on the tv, wash dishes...

it's so easy to do anything and everything else.

i know God is with me every moment of every day, 

but for the past 3 mornings I have chosen to spend some time with Him.

i will keep fighting this struggle.

not because of guilt of missing the time..

but because i can see & feel the difference in my day when i take the time.

keep pressing on.

it's a new year.

Happy New Year.

Today is the 2nd day of 2015.

the sky is shining brightly behind the layer of clouds.

the grass and flowers are sleeping snugly under the thick blanket of snow.

the trees are cloaked with beautiful snow.

*this was actually taken Jan 1*

new years eve we had friends over.

we had a sledding night.

the snow came that afternoon and didn't stop until last night some time.

the sled hill was perfect.

then it was inside for play, games, snacks and movies.

yesterday, 

new years day,

we went outside in the morn and enjoyed the sledhill.

also bringing out the boy's snowboard and the girl's skis.

for the late afternoon/eve we went to friends' and snowshoed through amazing thick powdery snow.

then sledding after dark.

today.

i went for a 5K run.

then came home and got right back into my pj pants.  

the kids are in their pjs.

watching movies.

playing Lego.

my husband slept in, read, napped, and is now reading again.

it's that kind of day.

i love it.

i don't know what joys or pains 2015 will hold

but, for our little family, it has begun with fun, friends, and lots of snow.

and a couple late nights.

Mary.

i love the Christmas season.

i love the reason I celebrate it.

i love that i celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

i love that celebrating Christmas reminds me that Easter is why Jesus came to Earth.

I had a baby boy in August of 2007.  

my first child.

my first son.

i remember being in tears at Christmas that year.

reading and thinking about the very first Christmas eve.

thinking about Mary.

a young girl.

never even been with a man and now was to be carrying a baby.

i think about her feeling the baby growing.

the baby moving.

i think about her traveling, not by plane or car... but walking, to a distant town.

with many other people.

some she knew, some she did not.

feeling the weight of the baby.

heading to a crowded little town.

aches, pains, joy, fear.

she was going to have a baby!

i remember that thought passing through my mind quite often.  

sometimes it brought fear, sometimes excitement.

then... no bed to sleep on.

into a stable.

with the animals.

still probably better than some people got.

stinky animals.

i remember my sense of smell was do heightened.

was hers?  surrounded by the animals.

then it comes time to have the baby.

that young girl now delivering a baby.

i like to think that someone in the town was a midwife of some sort who was able to assist her.

it would have been quite scary for her.

the fear she would have had, going through it all.

and then, she got to hold her baby.

her son.

the memories of the Angel Gabriel's words probably flooded her as she admired every single inch of him.

"You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the son of the Most High.  The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."   Luke 1:31-33

she snuggled him, fed him, kissed him.  

then wrapped him in a cloths and lay him in a manger.  

an animal's feeding trough.

she would provide for her son the best she could.  

and a manger was the best at that point.

my first Christmas holding my son i thought about Mary. 

an ordinary young girl.

but used by God to carry and raise His Son.  

she would love him dearly.

she would care for him.

what she truly expected he would be like and what he was like... 

i don't know how similar they were.

maybe this is why when i first heard "Mary Did You Know?" brought tears to my eyes.

Am i nuts?!?!

Way back...

August 2010 i wrote my first post on this blog.

it was about pink eye.  

yep, that's me, always full of exciting stories.

in that same month i wrote my second post.  

read it here: Running

for those who do not want to go read another post right now here's a little of what i said.

My husband and brother just ran their first Marathons in July.  the training was crazy! I was happy to be running 1 km and Dan was running 30km.  he is a runner - I am not.  But I'll tell you, I am at least becoming someone who does enjoy going for a run for the fitness/health of it.  and I miss it when I go too long between.  i have no plans to ever do a marathon but I do want to, next year, do the 10km Terry Fox Run.

that was August 2010.

it's now December 2014.  

and i will say it.

I am a runner.

that's right.

those who have followed this blog for any length of time have noticed it has become about my kids, 

my husband and me... 

and a whole lot of running.  

so i am now here to tell you something i have thought about and planned for about half a year now.  

i was out for a run, a longer run, probably 10-15K.

and i was thinking about running.  

i was training for the Band on the Run 10K.

as well as working on my endurance for Tough Mudder.

while i was running, thinking about running, i realized how much i was enjoying it.

i was already running greater distances than i ever thought my body could do.

i was actually thinking that maybe, just maybe, i could run the half marathon at Band on the Run in 2015.  

my mind continued from there.

i'm turning 40 in 2015.  

people do crazy things when they turn 40.  

some mid-life crisis thing.

maybe i should train for a marathon on my 40th..

no, that's crazy.

haha, yes, i thought that was crazy.

but i wasn't crazy.

i wanted a significant event on my birthday.

how about 40K on my 40th.  

not a road 40K.

but a 40K trail run with my husband.

that would be so much fun.

yes, i think i was delirious on my run, 

because i honestly thought that would be fun.

even when i got home i thought about it and liked the idea.

it took me a few weeks to tell my husband about my idea. 

if i told him i would have to commit to it.

i have since then told a few others about my plan.

some think i'm nuts.

others think it's a great idea.

others say "why don't you just run a marathon...it's 42K".

my answer to that.

"i'm not turning 42.  i'm turning 40.  i want to run 40K trail on my 40th."

so today began my training.

i ran 3.5K as soon as the kids got on the bus.

easy peasy lemon squeazy (as my girl now says).

i am signing up for the half marathon as soon as i can.

i may even sign up for the 14K trail run at The Limberlost Challenge, 

but we'll see if it fits in my training schedule.

it's going to hurt a lot at times.

i'm going to want to quit.

the month after i turn 40 and running my 40K i will be going to do my 3rd Tough Mudder.

am i nuts?

possibly.

am i loving the life and the abilities God has blessed me with?

yes.

am i hoping i can encourage others with my story of dislike to love of running?

yes. 

am i excited that my running is encouraging my kids to run?

yes.

my son wants to run the 5K Band on the Run race with his daddy. 

when i don't run i have less energy.

less endurance.

i eat less healthy things.

when i run i want to eat better...especially grapefruits.

i feel better in the day.

i fit clothes better, that feels good.

i can play with the kids or go hiking and not be as out of breath as fast.

so, call my running 40K on my 40th a mid-life crisis if you want.

i don't see it as such.

i'm not in a panic that i'm turning 40 and that my grey hairs are becoming quite obvious.

i'm excited that at 39 i can run and i can believe i will accomplish this goal.

follow me on my journey.

Nov 11 1918 as told by a WWI Diary

Mon Nov 11, 1918

The greatest event of the year.  The Armistice terms have been accepted on the 11th day of the 11th month @ 11.0 A.M - & at the termination of the 11th relay of the WIltey party.  The Hoots & whistles in the factories hooted and shrilled out the news - guns went off - & the anti-aircraft gun boomed off 3 salutes.  Whilst Church bells rang out joyfully above everything.  The troops that were firing & the Butt party here went mad with excitement & cheered themselves hoarse.  The war lasted 1,560 days today, or 4 years, 3 months & a week.  Everybody in Farnborough & vicinity had a holiday - & all the Imperial troops - but we carried on without the holiday. - & put the Bramshott party through their final practices.  The Commandant told the troops before they came out & he was sorry he could not give them the afternoon off as the Transports had been arranged for in the conveyance of the men's blankets etc, back to Bramshott tomorrow & the men would themselves have to go back tomorrow.  Anyhow, the troops slammed through their practices & we were through about 3.15 P.M coming through the streets I met children, men & women bedecked with ribbons and flags - with much singing & shouting. D was expecting me all afternoon and was much disappointed & me not turning up - she quite expected i would have a holiday.  I was home about 1/4 to 4 P.M.  We are expecting tomorrow my friend Pte. Harper and his wife.  They are taking the flat downstairs - the 2 rooms which Mr & Mrs Hunt had.  Harper's wife is arriving in London from Scotland & he is going up to London tomorrow to meet her.  Harper is staying at the Camp & is one of the Butt party.  Other war news today speaks of the capture of Mons by Canadian troops - & the French away past Hirson - & the Americans are advancing E. of the Meuse.  The Red flag of Revolution has surged all through Germany & the flag now flies from the residence of the abdicated Crown Prince.  Many street fights have taken place in Berlin & other big towns.  Herr & Frau Krupp have both been arrested in an endeavour to escape.  The Kaiser's portraits & Ludendorf's have been taken down by the revolutionists in many places.  Officers have had the Imperial Eagles torn from their uniforms.

Tues Nov 12 (just an excerpt)
The Armistice terms are very stringent & severe which are published in this morning's paper - but not too heavy - considering the outrages and atrocities committed in these 4 terrible years of war.  The Kaiser has fled to Holland to his old friend Count Bentinck.  The Crown Prince is reported assassinated - as he was not with the Royal party.  Hindenburg was with the Kaiser.  The Kaiserin was left in Berlin with her youngest son.  The terms of the Armistice. Cologne, Coblerg and Mainy to be occupied with all Germany W. of the Rhine.  2,500 Heavy guns, 2,000 Field Guns, 30,000 Machine guns, 2,000 Teraplanes, 5,000 locomotives, 150,000 wagons, 5,000 Motor lorries.  Evacuation of France, Alsace - Lorraine & Luxemburg. 6. Battle Couriers, 10. Battle ships, 8 Cruisers, 50 Destroyers.  All submarines to be handed over.

and the days continue as he completes the happenings of the end of the war.

i haven't actually made it to 1918 yet, in my reading, 

but i had to skip over to share on this day of remembrance what happened that very first day!  

the reason we remember on Nov 11.

i sure hope you have taken a moment today.

i am hoping to go to the Remembrance day parade in town this afternoon.  

it's beautiful weather, i sure hope it stays for it.

More through a WWI Journal

Tomorrow is our day of remembrance. 

today i thought i'd share a few more entries from my husband's great-great uncle 

(i finally figured out the connection)

Tues Dec 7 1915

Physical drill - examination of different positions offloading & unloading. Kneeling- lying & standing - sight tests- & finger pressure tests.

Sat Dec 25 (he is staying at the home of his girlfriend's family)

Xmas Day - wretched weather. Performed the duties of housemaid & was told that i did tolerably well. On Xmas morning in the kitchen I put the ring on D's finger - went to bed about 2.30AM

Mon Jan 10 1916

Physical drill - followed by C.O's inspection - bayonet fighting. - warned for draft.

Tues Jan 11 

List of names for draft confirmed.  E, H myself on same.  C.O's inspection. Bayonet fighting.

Thurs Feb 3

Bro H went with 26th Batt draft to the front - only 6 went out of our Company & he was one.

Fri Feb 11

My weekend pass to London cancelled owing to draft being called.  30 men for the 26th Batt & 20 for the 2nd & 4th Batts. I am one of the thirty.

Thurs Feb 24

Felt very queer (sick).  Stayed in- but no one went out on parades very much.  At night about 8:30 some of us had orders to dress in Skeleton order with rifle & await orders.  We found that all the camps around had had the same orders.  We were given 5 rounds live ammunition apiece.  When stationed on our various beats we were informed the nature of our beat.  We were to halt everybody - the idea being that German spies were expected in disguise either to obtain information of our camps or else to do material damage with bombs etc.  The night was clear & frosty & we were all pretty cold. - at reveille the next morning we were off & had the next day off.

he developed a nasty cough and ear infection after this night and was in the Medical Hut.

Wed Mar 8

Weather still cold - much snow falling.  had ear syringed again.  feel very week but eating a little.  Early this morning about 2:30AM our whole company No.2 went to the front.  They went to Southampton via Harve.  Thus I am left behind - that is with the exception of some who were too old to go - and a Sergeant who is sick here & a M.G.   I am told i have been transferred to the 32nd Batt at Risborough Barracks.

remembering... through WWI diary.

my husband, the kids and i were visiting his grandma a few weeks ago.

grandpa passed away in 2010 and now grandma was packing to make a big move from ON to BC.

she asked my husband if he'd be interested in the diaries of his...

um...

great uncle?

the diary was written by his grandpa's uncle.

9 small notebooks, recording daily his life as a soldier in WW1.

He was born in England, 

came to Canada (24yrs old) and headed back to England (31yrs old) as a soldier.

grandma and grandpa typed it all out and printed it up- to make it easier to read.

there are photos, poems, sketches, letters. 

and the original notebooks.

it is quite fascinating.

i have not read it all but i have read about a month's worth of entries so far.

the entries begin Tuesday Sept 21 1915 as he boarded the 'Troop Train' in Saskatoon, SK.  

the diaries end when he leaves England to return to Canada Dec 17, 1918.  

there is one notebook missing.

As this month is a month of remembrance i am hoping to read through this diary.  

take some time and read about this man.  

his family.  

the sacrifices.  

the honest thoughts about what was happening.

i have decided to share one part with you today.  

just a small excerpt.

Sun Oct 17 1915

We did not have to turn out till 7.0 A.M. this morning - quite a treat after the 5.0A.M turn out.  My friend thinks he'll get killed before he reaches France.  After dinner today he reposed himself for a forty winks on somebody's bed when without a warning a rifle came down from the rack over-head striking my friend on the left side of his fore-head.  Nobody heard the rifle fall, or the murmur of the complaint - but when i saw him he appeared a little dazed with his hand up to his brow.  I asked him what he was thinking about.  I was thinking what to say, he said.  What was it?  Only about the rifle that fell on my head.  the thing was really too comical. - of course we laughed.  We have had two unfortunate accidents.  Sargeant Clarke of NO.8 platoon whilst on guard fell down a manhole and hurt his spine - he has since died.  We had a grand Church parade this morning - about 4,800 men formed up on the parade ground led by two bands.  Spent rest of the day quietly.  Had a little singing with fellow who plays piano well.  Heard very good sermon at Y.M.C.A entitled "Angles at Mons".  The speaker gave us some remarkable references from some soldiers who were in that memorial retreat.  These men infer that they actually saw angels.  Some like St. Michael - others like St. George & others like a man clothed in long white robes.

Wed. Oct 20 1915

Physical exercise.  Officers inspection. Company drill.  Bayonet exercise.  Route marching and trench digging.

Fri Oct 22 1915

Parade in full marching order for route march & field day.  We had a hard day.  Being the forces attacked we had to retreat & at the same time keep our company intact.  We must have done well - because we received excellent compliments from our Captain.  Have just arrived home from march & had a very great surprise- Dear Bro. A.  R.N (Royal Navy) was there to meet me whom i hadn't seen for 10 years.  Tonight is all bustle & excitement - & my two brothers H & E together with A are all ready to go on leave- five days.  Have arrived in London - it's been 6 1/2 years since i saw dear old London.  Stayed at Berkley Square, Maple Leaf CLub.

These are a few of the entries as he is still in training.  

as i read i may share more of his story with you.

the men and women who gave their lives in the wars were men and women like me and you.

they had brothers, sisters, moms, dads, children, wives, husbands...

many lost lives. 

many lost loved ones.

these notebook entries remind me of that.

let's remember the sacrifices given.

being brave is standing strong even when you want to turn and run.

Lamb

last night i woke from my dream. 

"MOMMY!  MOMMY!"

down i went to my little girl.

she had a bad dream.

i found lammie for her as she moved over.

"mommy could you pray and sing 'mazing grace?"

i lay down with her.

"did you see i gave you lots of space so i could cuddle back in?"

i hugged her and began praying.

then it was time for 'mazing grace.

after, she whispered

"mommy, can you sing redeemer?"

There is a Redeemer

Jesus, God's own son...

"mommy, is it saying Jesus is a redeemer?"

'yes, because he is. when he died on the cross so we could one day live with him & God.'

"mommy, i hope...do you think when Jesus is all done making my house that he'll make me another lammie...so i don't miss lammie... but with big ears?"

**She has chewed lammie's ears right off**

'I don't think you'll need him to, but that would be cool, eh.'

she then asked if i would pray to ask God if he could ask Jesus to do that for her.

I did.

"ok, you can finish redeemer now."

There is a redeemer

Jesus, God's own son, 

precious lamb of God, Messiah...

"did you say lamb?"

"oh yeah, that's right, for The Lion and the Lamb."

i explained briefly why he is the lamb 

then as she cuddled closer i asked her:

'if Jesus is a lamb, couldn't you cuddle with him?'

she nodded.

i finished singing. 

we lay cuddled a little longer then 

'Mommy, i think i can fall asleep now."

i headed back up to my bed.

what a sweetheart.

her theology may not be spot on...

in fact my explaining may not be spot on.

but the conversations are there.

her mind is working it out as a 5 year old mind does.  

she surprises me with questions and comments regularly, 

and i love these moments.

 lammie (and bear) with big ears.

unfortunately she called me back down 15 minutes later.

i cuddled in, prayed and this time the request was Jesus loves me.

i sang it twice.  

we lay together for a bit, then i kissed her nose and she mumbled 

'i love you, see you in the morning."

39 & 7

my birthday was a week ago.

it was a great day.

i was helping at the VBS at our church and had fun morning with the kids.

my parents came up for the afternoon and then dinner at Boston Pizza.

on the way home we stopped at High Falls, a waterfall not too far from our house.

family photo at the falls.  

we spent some time there, exploring.

then we checked the mail before we got to the house.my gift from my husband was there in the mailbox.

it was a slackline just like i had been hoping for.

so excited.

we got the kids to bed and set it up to try it out.

even more excited.

the next day we had friends over to hang out and try it.

so much fun!

had a great 39th birthday.

enjoying my new slackline.

*****

AUG 1.

it's my boy's birthday.  

he turns 7.

wow.

he was so tiny when he was born.

Aug 1 2007

still as cute as can be.

just yesterday he came into the kitchen.

he looked a little lost so i asked him what he was thinking.

"I wanted some cuddles with you."

*melt my heart*

we had some cuddles on the couch reading a book.

2008

He is still so sensitive to others.

cries at movies when someone is getting hurt.

he is sweet and caring.

he is a superb big brother to his little sister.

2009

he now bikes as much as he can.

he tries new things without much hesitation.

he is determined to run a 5K race next year.

he snowboards.

he slacklines.

he rock climbs.

he will skateboard as soon as we buy it for him.

he draws.

he sings

he dances.

he shoots arrows.

he builds LEGO.

he still sleeps with Bear.

2010

he still bites his shirt collar when nervous.

he still loves hugs.

he still tells me he doesn't like to get kisses, but will give me one.

he likes to camp.

to canoe.

to swim.

he wants to see the ocean.

he wants to go to Great Wolf Lodge.

he wants to live in Toronto one day.

2011

he loves God.

loves to pray.

loves to ask questions if he doesn't know the answer.

loves jokes.

loves to make others laugh.

loves to laugh.

loves to use his imagination.

he loves his mommy, his daddy and his sister.  

(and Jack Jack, Cliver, Bear & Ducky)

2012

he is my boy.

my first born.

he turns 7.

2013

Happy Birthday.

i love you so much.

and i am excited watching you grow and challenge yourself.

i am so thankful for you.

2014.  

School Days round two: JK edition *part 2

the last time i wrote to you about my current Junior Kindergartener was HERE.

well.  

there are only 23 days left of school in this year.

i figured i should fill you in on her year so far.

My girl.

she could not wait to be 5 so she could by in JK.

she loves school.

two weeks ago, or so, her teacher and i were talking.

"it is so great to see how energetic and confident she is now."

my girl now walks into class excited to be there.

it didn't start out that way.

she used to miss me and lammie .

every day.  

every single day. 

i would receive a picture or card or gift that she made me.

because she missed me.

she became very good at spelling mommy.

she wrote i miss you mommy...or i love you mommy...

or would draw a picture of me and her.

then they became all about lammie.

(lammie is her stuffie that she has had since birth)

there would be tears in her eyes as the bus pulled up.

i would give her a huge hug and try to encourage her brother to let her have the window on the way to school...

he liked the window, she usually had to lean over him.

waving and near tears.

blowing kisses.

sometimes getting off the bus and crying because she missed me.

i was only sending her 3 days a week.

monday.

wednesday.

friday.

now.

she comes home and shares about her friends.

she tells me stories that happened at school.

but.

each morning.

as the bus is pulling up.

she runs to me.

"mommy...pray!"

I help her with her bag and thank God for this new day

and ask Him...

"please help my girl to remember that when she is afraid..."

she then finishes off the verse and prayer.

"i can trust in YOU!"

points high into the sky.

we hug.

and give kisses.

then she walks to the bus.

we still wave at each other as the bus drives away.

and blow kisses.

i do know she loves her teacher.

she loves to learn.

she is making friends.

my little girl is almost finished her first year of school.

23 days left in the school year...

but she will be going to 14 of them.

haha, this was us entertaining ourselves during a wedding reception recently.

my silly girl.

my big girl.

my 5 year old.

soon to be JK-no-more.

***

running selfies:

such a variety of temperatures in the month of april.

got to run the hunters bay trail with my hubby.

i hadn't eaten much that day, so didn't have a great run - but loved running with him.

we did some Tough Mudder training running through some flooded areas of the trail.