i feel fine

by reading the def'n of Acrophobia i don't have it exactly...

but i am afraid of heights.

that's right.

oh, 

i can sit on a cliff edge with my feet dangling over and be at peace.

i can admire the height and view.

however...

i'm not so good at scaling something (rock face...wall) that takes my feet higher than my own height.

i can do it if need be.. i have done it..

but most times at some point (even if tied in) i will freeze.

i will cling with all my strength.

i may cry as i rest my forehead against the wall.

i will need to slow my breathing.

i will need to know i have a good grip.

i will sometimes come down and give up.

i will sometimes calm enough.. pray enough.. and finish the task.

i will sometimes come down, regroup and do it again.

Then there's coming down from a height.

i have rappelled.  

highest is about 30ft.

i am completely freaked out stepping over the edge, 

and good once i get going.

i have cliff jumped 

largest being about 10ft.

don't care for it.

usually i stand there staring at the water wondering why this is fun for people.

that brings me to how i'm feeling about sunday.

on sunday i'm doing Tough Mudder.

THIS. SUNDAY!

**insert scream mixed of fear and excitement**

the route was posted for us to see.

dan and i went through the event with the kids.

checking out each obstacle.

some of them consist of: 

mud. 

(mud mile).

tunnels. 

(boa constrictor)

barbed wire.

(kiss of mud)

electrical shock.

(electric eel)

hay bales.

(bale bonds)

log carry.

(hold your wood)

teammate carry.

(warrior carry)

some of them are crazy, and i wonder why i signed up for this..as do many other people.

however...

the ones that make me nauseous..

the ones that make me wonder why i'm doing this are:

Balls to the Wall  

This is definitely not the rope climb that you remember from elementary school gym class. This monster of an obstacle will have you scaling 15’ up in the air, using only a muddy rope and a slick muddy wall to kick off of. Once you reach the top you must turn around and work up the courage to descend the rope on the other side. Mudders that don’t have a rope, like to train by alternating between pull ups and chin ups.

see pictures here

Walk the Plank

Test your fear of heights and cold all in one with our 15+ foot high jump into freezing water. Mudders℠ like to display their fancy diving skills (or belly-flops) at this obstacle. Don’t spend too much time pondering your leap – Marines at the top of the platform will chew you out, or worse, push you into the freezing depths below.

see pictures here

i'm afraid of heights.

these will be the biggest challenge for me.

that's why i have a team though.

the five of us will get each other through.

i'll be praying a lot..

a lot!

how am i when i think about Tough Mudder on Sunday?

i'm FINE

freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional

(thank you Italian Job for the definition)

bittersweet

i lay in bed listening to my in-laws saying bye to their son, my husband, as he left for work.

and i cried.

***

my in-laws have been living with us since the end of August.

when we arrived home from our trip to British Columbia we were greeted by them.

the kids have been sharing a room while their grandparents stayed in the girl's room.

why?

well, because they took a step.

a big step.

they put their house up for sale and it sold in a few days.

they were moving to BC.

Dan's sisters and their families live in BC.

after years of talking about it they took the plunge and are moving there.

but first they had to finish work.

so, they moved in with us after their closing date.

the kids have loved having grandpa and 'crazy ol' grandma around.

last week grandpa drove their moving truck...their house contents & motorcycle... out to BC.

then he hopped on a plane and arrived here last night.

this morning they were leaving.

road trip to visit some family on this side of the continent and then they'll be making their way to BC.

but for us and them it was time for our goodbyes.

so, this morning, 

i lay in bed listening to my in-laws saying bye to their son, my husband, as he left for work.

and i cried.

i got the kids up and ready for school.

before we went out to meet the bus they got their hugs from grandpa and grandma.

and i cried.

i got ready to go into town.

I was volunteering in the library at the kids' school.

before i headed to my car it was my turn to say bye.

i hate goodbyes.

my in-laws have lived about 5-10 minutes away since i married my husband almost 11 years ago.

they have been a go-to when we needed help with a car.

they have been a support when we had our boy... and then our girl.

they have helped with each of our moves.

they have been a second home.

they have had us over for supper, lunch, games, just to spend time together.

they have been our support when we have gone through some very personal and extreme situations as a young family.

grandma has taken the kids when i've been sick or needed to run out to get something. 

grandma has been available to go for a walk with the kids and i, to enjoy the beautiful day.

we have gone over to watch Nascar, or the Super Bowl, or Grey Cup.  

if we had a medical question we called up mom.  she always had the answer for us, or we could stop by and show her the problem.

i will miss my in-laws.

they are family, and i know that we will all miss them.

a whole lot.

they have been a huge part of our lives.

our loss is the Dan's sisters' gain.

their families will now have grandma and grandpa nearby - they don't have a house yet, but it will still be closer than it has been.

the six grandkids in BC will have them near to get to know more than just a Skype conversation or a short visit here and there.

it doesn't make their move any easier though.

i am thankful for the years i have had them here.

We love you Grandpa and Crazy ol' Grandma.

we will miss you so much! 

Terry Fox Run #4

This year marked the fourth year i have been running the Terry Fox Run for Cancer research.

if you were there at the beginning of this blog then you'll remember one of my first posts about running.

"My goal used to be the 10km Terry Fox Run in September.  Now my goal is to do the 5km portion of the Terry Fox run this September.  which when I have never been a runner is a pretty good goal I think...

...i have no plans to ever do a marathon but I do want to, next year, do the 10km Terry Fox Run"

From Aug 2010: Running

over the years i've carried you on a journey of my running.

not intentionally.

it has just happened.

you've been there when i began.

when i started up again.

and when i ran each of my 5K Terry Fox Runs.

*2010 run, 2011 run, preparing for the 2012 run, 2012 run*

This year i have trained more.

my dad was going to either walk the 5 or 10K with the girl.

*he did the 5K*

Dan was going to bike the 10K with the boy

and i was going to run the 10K!

a couple nights before the run i was talking with my husband and he mentioned that within the year, since the 2012 run, 

our list we were running for had grown by 5 people.

and one of them has recently passed away.

wow.

i hadn't realized that.  

sure i knew people with cancer but hadn't realized some of them had just been within the past year.

or at least we just found out within the past year.

at the run we were all ready.

i was nervous to run 10K but dan reminded me that i ran that easily now.

still..

nervous.

off went the bikes.

runners.

3.

2.

1.

go!

off i went.

pacing myself.

i was looking for faces i recognized.

saw a few.

i told some kids they were doing great, as they ran or biked.

smiles were shared with many other runners.

past the 5K turn around.

i was now running the 10K.

i had some time to think.

about some of the most recent cases of cancer that we knew about.

i thought about Rachel.

beautiful lady.

new wife.

huge heart and love for life.

looking gorgeous with her head scarves.

I thought about Jim.

went to the hospital because he was bruising easily, and was completely worn out.

he fought it.

went into remission, and planned to marry the love of his life.

remission ended.

the wedding was a bitter-sweet day as they said their vows and everyone could see how tired he was.

shortly after he lost his battle.

i thought about Paul.

husband, father, grandfather.

second time around.

not so promising as he begins chemo and radiation.

Aunt Peg.

wonderful lady.

enduring chemo and radiation.

my sight got blurry, 

the tears were welling up.

choked up.

emotional.

i cleared my throat and wiped my eyes as i neared the end.

dan and the kids met me and finished the run with me.

i had run the 10K.

and i ran it, not for myself, but for those i told you about.

and all the other ones i mentioned in previous posts.

Thank you for your support.
One day we won't have to run anymore!

Cancer

my dad had cancer and won.

thankfully it was very localized and he came out stronger.

my friend's father-in-law had cancer and beat it.

he recently has been re-diagnosed with cancer.

now he's begun chemo

unfortunately, an expected length of life has been discussed.

i found out that a beautiful, young, lady i know has cancer.

she's fighting it.

and the fight is going well.

my mother-in-law's boss/friend passed away a couple years ago.

he had cancer.

it won.

a dear friend at church is a widow

due to cancer.

i have aunts who have fought cancer and won, only to have to fight again.

a dearly loved woman in our church fought the battle, 

valiantly.

but the battle proved too great for her weary body.

my aunt-in-law is currently battling the cancer in her body.

she is strong.

a wonderful man my husband worked with found out he had cancer.

he fought it, 

went into remission.

the cancer attacked again.

he married his love- what a day that was. 

but a short time after, his body couldn't fight anymore.

another man my husband worked with found out he had cancer, 

and has been given a life-expectancy.

one of my many 'other moms' growing up has fought cancer.

currently she's ahead, but her body's been through a lot.

****

i'm sure any of you who are reading this can think of your own stories, 

or are in the midst of fighting your own battle against cancer.

it hits us all.

it doesn't matter the cancer.

breast, pancreatic, lymphoma, colon to name only a few.

**these people are why i'm running in the Terry Fox Run on sunday**

will you support me & cancer research?  HERE

School Days round two: JK edition

The day is here!

anticipated since her 4th birthday.

it's finally here.

her first day of Junior Kindergarten.

it probably felt as though it was never going to happen.

but here it is.

yesterday she watched as her brother boarded the bus for grade 1.

this morning i was going to drive them for her first day.

she packed her lunch last night, 

both kids did.

and both were completely wired and off the wall.

they finally settled for sleep.

after some bouncing off the walls.

or at least that's what it sounded like from outside in the living-room.

*they are currently sharing a room because grandma & grandpa are living with us a for a short time*

this morning

i didn't want to get up, 

but i did and walked down into the dark, quiet bedroom.

"wake up you two, it's time to get up"

the girl rolled over.

"do you know what day it is?"

she mumbled

"it's your first day of school."

excitement couldn't flow over yet, she was a little too tired, 

but once she woke the excitement couldn't be contained.

even her brother was excited for her.

She had picked out her clothes for the day.

a pink dress from her cousin, 

because it flowed out when she twirled.

when it was time to go outside we got the first day of school photos.

*and a second day of school photo for her brother* 

she jumped and yelled "i'm going to school!", for the first photo.

off we went.

on the way i heard a little voice.

"mommy, i'm a little nervous to go to school."

i reminded her she had her brother's teacher from last year, whom she loved.

i also reminded her of a friend that would be in her class, 

and another girl from sunday school.

we parked and walked to the school.

down to her JK class.

her teacher made us all feel so welcome.  

my little girl placed her big backpack on the hook of her choice, and unpacked it.

we walked around the class to see what had changed since last year.

she sat on the carpet and looked up at me with her big blue eyes and smiled.

"i'm going to sit on the carpet."

then we went outside.

her friend naomi grabbed her hand and whisked her off to play.

Naomi is in SK, so she's an experienced school kid.

i stood there holding my boy's hand, 

i was choked up but this was what i expected.

my confident little girl.

my excited little girl.

no fear.

pure joy to be at school.

so different, yet similar, to her big brother.

i can now understand what my mom has told me over..and over..and over.

about my first day of school.

my brother had cried, it had been hard to leave him.

but i had run into the class without a look back.

she was a little me.

anxious to follow in her big brother's footsteps.

she even has his old teacher, just as i did.

then i had to help her brother find his teacher and line up.

this is another story, 

this is the boy's second day of school story.

there were tears

on his part and mine, 

as i left him at his class.

i can relate to him and his anxiousness so much.

i wiped the tears from my own eyes and left his room,

and headed to say bye to the girl as i left the school.

the kindergarten kids were outside playing still.

there she was.

 playing with Naomi. 

with a truck. 

in her pink dress. 

(and baseball cap, because her brother wears one to school)

talking to her ECE

*who is also the same ECE her brother had in JK*

she ran to me when she saw me.

hugged me.

gave me a kiss. 

then went back to making cement with Naomi.

my girl.

she has only one day of JK this week

but is she ever ready for it.

love you little girl.

you are strong. 

confident, 

yet cautious. 

precious. 

gentle, 

yet tough. 

silly, 

gorgeous, 

intelligent.

you will learn so much this year.

i'm excited to watch you and hear your stories.

i love you.

*excited brother*

School days: Gr. 1

age: 6

year in school: 3rd

grade: 1

class: 1-2 split

so this is what grade one feels like.

i'm an old pro...

no tears, not even choking them back.

i got a hug when the bus came, but that's the way it is with my boy.  

he even hugged his sister.

he cheered and danced around when he realized school would be happening when he woke in the morning.

he fell asleep quite quick.

i couldn't sleep.

*it may have been the tea i downed right before bed*

i kept thinking about this school year.

he would be grade 1 in a 1, 2 split class.

what will the scary grade twos be like?

he will be in recess with the rest of the school.

what will the scary grade 2-8s be like in the yard?  

i haven't met his teacher..

i haven't seen his class..

will he know where to go when he gets off the bus?  

will he like his teacher? 

will she encourage him, love him?  

will he be confident this year with older kids in the class, or will he be shy and nervous again?  

will i like his teacher?  

will he stand up for kids who are picked on? 

will he be picked on?  

will he pick on others?

why did i have to drink the tea?  

i could have been asleep a lot earlier.

maybe.

guess i'm not an old pro.

he does know one of the grade 2 kids, he's good friends with him, 

so that was an encouragement for me.

this morning he woke, 

had breakfast, 

we read a devotion together, 

prayed, 

brushed teeth, 

fed the cat, 

got dressed

 played for 10 minutes

got ready to go outside: raincoat and boots.

took his first day of school photos, 

brought out the compost for me

played while we waited for the bus, 

hugged me, 

hugged his sister, 

grabbed my hand when the bus came

*the tears threatened* 

and we walked to the door together.  

and off he went.

*i just realized...*

I forgot to wave goodbye as the bus drove away!

oh my little boy, 

i'm sorry i forgot.  

i was talking with your sister.

i always wave bye to you.

and either blow you a kiss or stick my tongue out at you...

i'm sorry, you were probably looking out the window at me

mommy loves you,

you sweet, crazy kid. 

have a super great day at school today.

you will do amazing.

you will make more friends.

you will be loved.

you are creative, 

smart, 

fun, 

cute, 

encouraging...

you are in grade one now.

looking forward to cuddle time with you when you get home.

the best old man ever!

i was raised watching The Carol Burnett Show.  

some of the best comedy.

Tim Conway as an old man has always been my favorite.

most episodes they couldn't get through a skit without starting to crack up.

enjoy.

Old School

This morning i woke to the radio.

some chatting, the news, weather and then a song.

it was the song that brought memories flooding my mind.

the song was One by U2.

when i was in high school i had a crush.

he was my crush for all of my high school years.

he wasn't 'the hottest guy in school'

he wasn't a jock.

no, we never dated.

we were friends, and got along really well.

but didn't hang out much other than at school, and class projects/assignments.

that song made me remember him this morning.

i went to the formal at the end of high school.

i hadn't really wanted to.

i didn't want to spend the money on a dress and the ticket when i didn't even have a date.

but i had a couple persistent friends, and they became my dates.

they even bought me a wrist corsage - sweet girls.

the overall formal i didn't care for.

sure, i was out on the dance floor for the faster songs, having fun with my friends.

and i was asked to dance a couple of the slower songs with a friend's date, and then another guy friend.

nothing spectacular though.

there were times i was hanging out at our table watching the dancing when i was wondering why i bothered - i didn't care for events like that.

i had just danced a song with someone - no memory who that person was, 

when One by U2 began.

U2 was my absolute favorite band during high school - they are still very high on my list.   

i was about to walk off the dance floor and take a seat, again.

then my high school crush approached and asked me to dance.

i had seen him walking over, but didn't think it would be me he was coming to.

that was my highlight of the night.

favorite song, favorite guy at school.

so, hearing the song this morning...and many times i hear it... reminded me of that night, that dance.

i don't dwell on him, 

i don't sit and wonder what-ifs, 

but it brings back a fond memory of a friend.

it makes me curious about what he's doing now, where he is.

and i pray for him.

we both graduated, but went back to high school for another year.  

i went back to the same school, he changed schools.

we saw each other a couple times that year when he'd come visit.

he was intelligent, quiet, friendly, kind to everyone, lots of fun.

everyone has people that they have in the past that they think about now and again that don't affect their present.  

he was a high school crush.

i don't search him on facebook, 

i don't think about him and let my past crush form into dreams or anything ridiculous like that.

i don't compare him to my husband.  

nope, i cherish the memory.

i pray for him and i return back to the present.  

the one i thought about while out for my run *2

tree tops were swaying.

the light green of leaf underbellies were revealed as the branches waved hello.

clouds were sailing through the sky.

the winds were refreshing after the temperatures we've had lately.

but...

it was coming at me.

as i was running..

uphill.

yet, still refreshing.

i arrived at my turnaround. 

and began the trek home.

ever notice when you're running..walking..the wind seems to never be at your back.

you have it in your face all one way and then when you do a 180* there it is again, 

greeting you face to face.

"come on.. come up from behind"

i mumbled as i continued running.

it changed direction.  

not full back, but from the side..ish.

good enough.

have you ever wanted to be swept up by the wind?

not like tornado - welcome to Oz, 

or hurricane - impaled onto something.

but swept up and carried away.

like an eagle. 

soaring on the wind currents, how peaceful they appear.

(especially compared to the panic of a duck flying haha) 

or like a kite.

without the nosedive back to earth when the wind stops.

or like a butterfly.

gently fluttering to the flowers in the garden...

the wind grabs them and there they are flying backward, or sideways.

that's what i wanted.

oh, tonight i just wanted to be swept up and blown home to my husband and kids, 

but sometimes when i feel a strong wind hit me i want to be carried away, 

on an adventure.

into the sky, to see the world from an eagle's view.

so when the wind changed and came from the side i did what i needed to do.

i jumped up.

it didn't catch me and fly me today...

so i ran home.

it's that day already.

So.

today's the day.

the last day of school for the 2012/2013 school year.

today's the day.

the day the boy brings home his report card.

today's the day.

the last day of the boy's kindergarten years!

when i pick up my boy after school today he will no longer be a senior kindergartener.

he will be a grade one boy.

wow.

two years done.

last year was difficult for him, 

1st day of JK.

but this year has been amazing!

1st day of SK

he has grown so much, 

learned so much.

he has gained much more confidence in who he is.

i have loved watching him grow this year.

the laughter as he tells me funny stories from school.

friendships have been made that could very possibly last through his school years.

i am so proud of my boy.

last night at prayer time 

he asked me if we could ask Jesus to give him a teacher that he loves lots like he had this year.

i have already been praying for his next teacher, 

but to hear him ask...

*insert tears here*

i asked him is he wanted to sleep in on Thursday morning.

he said no, and that he wants me to wake him at normal time.

when i inquired as to why 

he smiled, 

"i have a lot of things planned for the first day, i'll sleep in the next day."

my baby.

not a baby anymore.

here he's reading a book i made in grade school.

probably not much older then him now.

this is him with his SK teacher, Mrs. Moore.

she has been wonderful.

he adores her.  

dakota is hoping to have Mrs Moore next year.

waiting for the bus on the last day of school...

and kindergarten.

with one of the gifts we made for his teachers and bus driver.

huntsville half

the first goal i had for the year was to run 10K in our town's race.

www.huntsvillehalf.com

this past weekend was the race.

I ran 10K.

the hills were brutal.

i thought i was going to vomit on one uphill.

i didn't.

i also didn't stop at all.. 

i ran my first 10K.

 10K results: Here.

i came in 169th out of 213.

34th out of 44 in my age category.

i ran it in 1:06:43

i am pretty proud of myself.

i felt good..

the next day i was a little sore.

next thing isn't planned until the Terry Fox Run in Sept.

who am i more proud of then myself?

my friend and my husband.

my friend Theresa.

8 weeks ago she decided to sign up for the 5K race.

and began training.

we ran/walked the course a couple weeks ago to check it out.

there were some hills... we live in muskoka there can't be a run without hills.

that morning i wasn't able to see her race start, the 10K runners were already off and running.

i did pray for her while i was running.

that she would have the strength to run the whole thing.

that was her goal.

when i finished she was already back.

she had done it!

she had run the whole way.

i was so proud of her.  

she's one of my fellow Tough Mudders in Training.

she encourages me.

My husband Dan.

he decided he wanted to do the half marathon.

he made my training schedule, and his own.

he was also out running in the middle of winter.

his runs got longer as the time went on.

i got to see him start his race.

my dad and kids were also there.

during my run i was heading up a hill and i thought about dan, 

he was running double what i was and had to do the same hills.  

i prayed for him.

for the strength.

i was so proud of him already.

he had encouraged me.

i hope i was as big an encouragement to him.

when i finished i talked with Dan's parents at the finish line

then went to find the kids so we could be at the finish line when daddy came.

i was over at the park when i heard his name called.

i missed his finish.

i wasn't there when he crossed that line.

my emotions were mixed.

so excited he was done faster than he expected.

but i hadn't been there to cheer for him.

*his parents were there though.*

he did so well.

he came in 6th overall.

and 3rd in his age category.

his hope was for a top 10 finish.

i listened to other half marathoners congratulate him on his run.  

i was so proud of my husband.

the run was saturday.

it's tuesday now.

and his birthday.

happy birthday to my inspiring husband.

love you.

*photo taken by Danae.  someone who inspires us to stay fit, stay active.  

Danae we love you.  

The speech i would have made.

Hi.

My name is michelle, i am the ancient one in this wedding party.

and i am honored to be a part of this day.

i have actually known the groom's side longer, but adore this beautiful, blushing bride and feel as though i have known her forever.

for those of you who have worked with youth, in a youth group, camp, sports team setting you will understand me when i say that although you love all the kids you get to know there are some that will forever hold a place in your heart.  there's a connection that does not go away easily.

when i got married just over 10 years ago my husband and i were youth leaders at church.  there was this newly dating couple that i immediately adored.  that was brother number 1, and his beautiful, now wife.  Then brother number 2 began attending.  He was great.  i had fun with him as a youth and am so glad to see him married to a beautiful woman with 2 adorable kids.  then sibling 3 attended youth.  it was a girl this time.  shy, quiet, i think she knew how to speak...  sweet, gentle, compassionate... she was a beauty then and has grown even more beautiful.   the siblings didn't stop.  there were 2 more.  2 more boys.  i had heard about them before they ever came to youth.

the 4th and 5th... well, i just loved this family.  

my husband and i connected with these kids too.  and teased them.  Jon and Ben...yes, i called then Jon & Ben! *gasp*

i watched them grow from quiet kids to the strong, bold, confident men they have become now.  Mr & Mrs W.  you have raised fine children.  thank you for allowing me to be a part of their lives as a youth leader and now friend.

i remember the year that a beautiful blond young lady arrived at youth.  i believe i saw Jon's heart flutter!  when she was at youth she was right there with Jon and Ben.  

she is beautiful. 

inside and out.

she is full of compassion, love, smiles.  she truly cares for her friends.

i loved getting to know this young lady in her high school years.

we had great talks, times of prayer, tears, searching the Scriptures, laughter.

my husband and i watched as Jon and Cailagh became friends.

we watched as their attraction grew.  hearing them admit to liking the other one...finally.

hearing the story about him asking her mom permission to date her.

watching them seek God's desire for their lives.   how they went away to school and missed each other like crazy.

the realization that they loved each other.

when we began doing church plays together i believe that was when my husband and my roles were altering from leaders to friends.  we were connecting on a different level, as equals, and i believe it was as God planned.  the age gap, life gap, it was still there but beginning to fade out of the picture.

i loved that i could give advice, or be an ear to listen.

then it happened.

Jon proposed.

he did it!

so exciting.

they came by and told us their story!

then i had the opportunity to take some engagement photos with them.

so much fun.  have i said how much i adore these two?

and Cailagh asked me to be a bridesmaid.

i know i don't wear my emotions on my sleeve, but i felt honored, shocked, blessed, surprised, why me?  i knew we were close but i hadn't expected that.  

thank you.

so much.

so here we are.

we have all just watched as they said their vows, placed the rings, kissed!

all the stress that goes into a wedding... that's all behind us.

now stands before us the beginning.

the beginning of the life as mr. & mrs.  

the commitment, promise.

not an easy road.

but a wonderful road.  

Jon and Cailagh.

thank you for allowing me to be this special role in your day.

God has blessed my family by bringing both of your families into our life. 

by bringing you two into our life.

i commit to pray for you, to share experience when needed, to encourage you, to love you.

    

*pictures from my camera will be edited and posted shortly on www.lifethrulenz.blogspot.com

the one i thought about while out for my run.

my dad bought me a book for mother's day.

the book was titled: Born to Run.

see here for book info.

i haven't read it yet. 

i will though, it sounds pretty fascinating.

i was excited to get this book.

i thought it was funny that i was excited.

it was a book about running.

but i hate running...

when i was a kid i hated running unless it was a race with a friend for fun.

unless it was in another sport, like soccer, baseball, football, rugby, frisbee...

i did track.

in grade school.

i ran the 100m, 200m, 400m, 1500m.

the 1500 nearly killed me!

i never did it well.

i never did it because i enjoyed it.

i enjoyed hurdles.

i enjoyed long jump and triple jump (i know it's not a real event).

i HATED running.

when i first got married to a man who enjoys running, i tried it out.

it's supposed to be good for the body.

gave up.

so not worth it.  let me go for a nice long walk.

i had a kid.

i hated the baby belly.

hubby recommended running as one form of exercise.

tried it.

hated it.

gave up.

i had a second kid.

i hated the baby belly on top of previous baby belly.

hubby recommended running as one form of exercise.

tried it.

knew it was a good idea.

The Terry Fox run is something i had always wanted to do.

but i hated running.

i read, watched, heard somewhere that Terry Fox didn't like running.

i don't know if it's completely true, but if he could run it there was no reason why i couldn't.

i began running..

hating it.

dreading it.

i ran/walked the 5km terry fox run.

didn't run again until the next summer.

ran the 5km (a couple very short walks within it) terry fox run.

didn't run again until the next summer.

i ran the 5km!

it hurt.

i did feel good after a run..

when i wasn't gasping for breath.

i liked the sore muscles - - yes, that's strange, but i really do.

we decided to do Tough Mudder this Sept.

i have no endurance.

i also wanted to do the 10km Terry Fox in Sept.

then i decided i wanted to do our town's 10km run (www.huntsvillehalf.com) 

what?

was i crazy?

training began in January.

outside.

in the snow.

in the cold.

i have worked up from dying at a 2km run to dying at a 8.5km run.

my minimum run is now a 5km.  

i find myself enjoying my run - most days.

finding that i can push myself that little bit further.

sometimes even picking up my speed and trying to sprint at the last 100m or so.

sometimes i look at other people out there running and think 

"oh, i hope i don't look like that."

sometimes i look at other people out there running and think

"oh, i wish i looked like that when i run."

when i run i sometimes try not to trip over my own feet.

my arms and shoulders are not always relaxed.

my strides are short, then long, then short.

my breathing isn't steady, and i'm trying to catch my breath.

sometimes i started out feeling great and ran faster than my body wants to do for the whole distance.

my face, neck and sometimes arms go a blotchy red... even when i feel i've had a great run.

but i'm running.

and i'm enjoying it.

i feel great.

i love the muscle pain because i know i've earned it.

i am running for my own health.

i'm running for my kids, as an example of staying active and having energy to play with them.

i'm running for my dad.  who runs the terry fox run with me.

i'm running to be able to have the endurance to make it from event to event at Tough Mudder.

i realized when i picked up that book on Mother's day, 

and was excited about it, 

that i don't hate running anymore.

i enjoy running.

there.

public confession.

(i have the right to withdraw my confession while on my 9km run this weekend)

cherished moments

this was my status on facebook the other day.  

thought i'd share it with you all 

(again, for fb friends)

Part 1:

the little girl and her mom were about to say prayers before bed. 

the little girl looked at mom, "you still love me even when i hurt my knee." 

(the little girl had fallen and hurt her knee earlier that evening) 

mommy smiled at her as she put her arm around her. 

leaning to whisper to her little girl, "mommy loves you even when you get mad at me." 

little girl smiled her huge, joyful, smile... 

then started to giggle for reasons only the little girl knew.

Part 2:

the boy came out of his room to see what mom was doing. 

She told him he needed to go to bed. 

he said that he wished that there was no night so that he could stay out here and only need to take long naps.
"when you get older you'll be allowed to stay up later." said mom
the smile formed on the boy's face "will i still be with you when i'm allowed to stay up?"
mom nodded, "yep. you'll still be with me. but you may not want to be with me." 

confusion crossed the boy's face.
"why not?"
mom looked into his beautiful blue eyes, and told him, 

"some kids don't want to be with their parents when they get older."
the boy smiled at his mom, his eyes shining, "i'll want to be with you."
the mom's heart warmed as he continued "i'll always want to be with you."
wow, mom adores her little boy so much.