soul care

this is the blog entry that started out as a personal journal entry but throughout writing it it transformed into a blog post.

Here I am sitting at the Dwight Beach dock. 

listening to the wind rustling the harvest stalks decorating the shelter, 

the waves lapping the rocks and the dock, 

feeling the wind brushing my cheek and the sun kissing my face.

What a gorgeous autumn day.

Big fluffy clouds in a bright blue sky, 

bright colored leaves adorning the trees in the distance, 

and quiet...

peace.

Even the people i have encountered both at Ragged Falls
and now here at the beach are not loud and chatty cathies.

they are whispering and silent as they take in the beauty that is Muskoka/Algonquin in the fall.

maybe there's a sadness on their hearts, 

perhaps hope and joy.

maybe they are in an invisible pain, 

or their bodies aren't what they used to be.

perhaps they have reached a time in life that they are good - life is good.

maybe there are stresses they have never shared.

i pray that in the silent moment as they take in the beauty, 

the solitude of nature...

i pray that they will hear the whisper of the Creator

"i love you, precious one."

i know that is what i heard as i took it all in.

Gertie and Norbert 

Norbert is my new iphone 6

came with me on this adventure.

i walked barefoot 

(should have left my birks in the van)

along the Ragged Falls trail and loved the feeling of the mud squishing through my toes.

the best feeling ever.

This was not a planned adventure.

When i got up this morning i was just going to get ready for family coming to visit this weekend.

but as the kids and i waited for the bus i had this pull to grab Gertie and Norbert, 

get into Meatlug 

(the van)

and go somewhere to be surrounded by the creation that refreshes my soul.

so i did it.

i didn't have a destination until i let myself drive past my beloved Limberlost trails.

Sometimes our souls need a time of refreshing, 

so that the Lord can speak to us.

it is so important to take those times 

- when possible - 

i will admit a little something.

i skipped my ladies Bible study to do this.

i needed this time with me, God and the beauty He has blessed us with.

Take time this Thanksgiving weekend to refresh your soul.

Let God speak to you.

this can be a crazy weekend and for some it's a time of stress, 

others sadness, 

and other's laughter.

At some point take some time by yourself.

sit, 

walk, 

run, 

hike, 

lie down,

skip,

cuddle a sleeping baby

and thank God that He loves you and calls you precious.

Thank you Lord.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
how vast is the sum of them!

Psalm 139:17

photos taken by me with Gertie and Norbert

family time: climbing

this weekend was absolutely beautiful.

the weather was warm, the sun was shining.

the Huntsville Fall Fair was happening.

on saturday morning i returned from a short run

(i turned around a couple kms earlier than i was planning to)

i returned in time to have breakfast with my husband and kids.

we sat and discussed the plans for the day.

on my run i had an idea of what i wanted to do with the family.

the kids talked about playing lego. 

or with their stuffies.

the girl wanted to watch a movie: The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe.

nothing was mentioned about the fall fair.

i'll admit, i was glad they had forgotten it was this weekend.

i didn't want to go that day.

finally i asked if anyone wanted to go climbing.

was i ever so happy when everyone liked the idea.

because i really wanted to go.

i am in need of a road trip for some climbing or bouldering, 

that's all i've been wanting to do these days.

it was so beautiful out that i just wanted to take the kids climbing.

we decided to go at lunch. 

since we park the car at the McDonalds parking lot we would have McD's before we set up our climb.

and when we got home we'd watch Narnia while we ate supper.

i listened to the kids talking about how they were going to make it to the top.

i love listening to their excitement about this time as a family.

we all hiked to the top and the kids got to see how to set the climb.

they even got to help with aspects of it.

my husband is a wonderful teacher.

then we climbed down.

and i got my camera out to enjoy capturing some memories as my husband was belayer.

they listened to instruction, 

they remembered: encouragement only!

my number one rule.

since they were sharing a harness there was an agreed on amount of tries before switching.

there was barely any nervousness.

they remembered how high they had climbed the last time we went, 

and were determined to get past that.

but the ultimate goal was to reach the top.

i was so proud as i watched my boy work his way higher...

and higher...

and higher...

he made it!

both kids listened so well to advice or encouragement.

they looked for the perfect places to put their feet and hands.

even when nervous they were eventually able to calm down and rethink the situation, or listen to our words.

i love being their parent.

i love watching them get past a fear and accomplish things they hoped to do.

i love having the opportunity of raising my kids with rock climbing as one of our activities.

I have so much fear, and love, when i'm climbing.

i learned to rock climb in my late teens-early twenties

but i have such a hard time trusting my own feet, 

or my belayer.

i need the rope as tight as possible.

if i don't have a great hand hold i have a hard time moving on.

my kids...

they encourage me so much.

i watch them, 

i listen to them, 

i admire them.

they love adventure.

the fear is there, but they trust us.

they know we're watching out for them, 

but allowing them the opportunity to figure out what they can do.

my kids know i'm scared of heights.

i admit that sometimes when i'm on a wall i cry.

so i understand when my little one is crying because she is afraid of slipping.

but they also know i love this activity.

i love the adventure.

they also know i try.

even when scared, i try.

i told my little one that when i'm frozen, on the wall of rock, i pray.

i ask God for the strength to continue, 

to get past the fear.

she calmed herself and slowly continued.

i love afternoons like these.

daddy and the girl hiked up there.
i belayed for the boy as he did the final climb up and out, and then i hiked back up after this pic.
love these three.

*we did go home and watch Narnia.

i also took the kids to the fall fair on sunday afternoon*

*all photos taken by me, 

with Gertie

not edited.

Hoo Rah!

i hurt.

my muscles hurt.

my knees hurt.

my knees and elbows are scratched, red, sore.

my back hurts.

and i love it.

on sunday morning i woke.

way earlier than the alarm.

i couldn't sleep so i went downstairs and got ready.

Dan got out of bed shortly after me.

change of clothes, check.

lunch, check.

registration forms for us and the others, check.

water, check.

'will i be warm enough? will i be too cold?'

time to check the car's fluids for the drive.

oh crap. 

we had a fuel leak.

call and verify we can use Jon's car.

good to go.

picked up Ben and Nick.

nerves not too bad.

but the excitement was thick in the air.

met Jon and transferred vehicles.  

we were on our way!

alright, 

which obstacles were everyone afraid of?

Arctic Enema, Boa Constrictor, Electric Eel, Walk the Plank, um...all of them.

we had no idea what to expect, and were excited to go.

this had been anticipated since January.

we had trained..some...ok, not too much.

we were as ready as we were ever going to be.

thoughts swirled through my mind.

"are we crazy? will i have to go around any obstacles? am i tough enough? i don't want to be the slowest on the team. will i love it as much as i hope i will?  will i get hurt?  it isn't going to be as scary as i think...yes it will.. no it won't.  i don't want to walk the plank."

we arrived at the ski hill: Mt. St Louis Moonstone.

there were so many cars coming off the highway, i couldn't believe it.

and this was with the priority parking.  there would be many more arriving by shuttle.

wow.

we parked and i was so nervous, i was shaking.

it wasn't cold but i couldn't stop shivering.

on our way to park we passed Arctic Enema and the Mud Mile.  

they were real.  

we were really there.

walking over to registration the excitement bubbled over.

we were all talking non-stop.

none of us had done it before.

none of us knew anyone who had.

none of us knew what to expect.

we were a team.

C2TM: Couch 2 Tough Mudder.

i was about to do Tough Mudder!

walking toward registration,  and seeing the START, i was definitely feeling as though i really did just get off the couch to come.

watching the first heat begin the ascent up the first ski hill..

crap, of course they start us off on a hill.

while waiting to begin i was looking around at the others waiting with me.

some appeared hard core: lots of muscle, face paint, scary.

others were scrawny, small, i felt i could blow them over.

there were many dressed up in costumes or themes, there to have fun.

some were looking as fearful as i was feeling, but trying to hide it.

after a speech, some cheers, O Canada, showing appreciation for our military, past and present, and a few more Hoo Rahs! 

we were off.

up hill.

i was doing it.

i ran for a bit, then walked, then ran again.

but i wasn't the only one.

that in itself was encouraging.

many walked, some ran, most did a little of both.

throughout the whole event.

Tough Mudder is not a race.

it is a challenge.

we were not racing the other people on the course.

although some others looked like they were determined to win.

and the event felt as though the five of us were just a small team within a larger team.  

a sweet feeling.

i was tougher than i thought.

the obstacles didn't appear as scary as i approached them.. or as i attempted them.

there was no shame in going around one you truly felt you couldn't do.

my personal goal was to attempt them all.

and i did.

i did hear some say they would never do it again.

but they appeared to be a minority.

i had so much fun i was already excited to plan for next year.

and i hadn't even completed it yet.

my fear hit me when we were running through the trees and i suddenly heard one of my teammates say "Michelle, Walk the Plank"

i remembering it not registering right away and as soon as it did i stopped in my tracks.  

i jogged slowly toward the rest of my team as they waited at the entrance to it.

there was a sign beside it pointing the direction to go if skipping the obstacle.

i did hesitate and look at that.

dan put his arm around me and spoke quietly.

he said i could skip it if i wanted but he knew i could do it.

he climbed right up behind me.

12' up i stared down into the water, and then at Jon, Ben & Nick who had already jumped by this time.

in the end i did it.

it wasn't that bad, but i'm glad dan was behind me.

many other obstacles, 

watching others do them or struggles with them.

none were so completely out of reach as a possibility.

i gained confidence as i went, and having a team was a huge part of that.

we assisted eachother.

when i didn't have the ability to scale a 9' wall i had teammates to hoist me up.

when i didn't know if i could make it up part of a ski hill i had a husband who piggy-backed me.

when we saw some gals struggling at the Berlin Wall, we were the ones who could help them.

running through the finish line, and receiving the Tough Mudder headband, was such a great feeling.

i hadn't died.

i hadn't even hurt myself.

i had done it.

i think back to the many times i questioned why i was doing it.

and i am so glad i committed to it.

the whole event was so much fun.

it was challenging.

it was, at times, painful.

but it was also encouraging.

the other participants, the volunteers, the staff.

it was a day of pushing ones self. 

of determination.

but you were never alone.

i loved my team.

each of us had strengths, fears, pain, encouragement for each other, jokes, sarcasm.

we chatted with others, helped others, were aided by others.

if we knew there was an event one of us was scared of then we got behind that person and encouraged.

thank you to my team.

(i was The Ancient One.  the eldest.)

Jon was our Beauty. haha.  and our constant sarcasm.  

but even when his knee hurt he kept pushing on.

Ben was Goliath...our giant.  our encouraging giant.

Nick the Young One.  full of energy and always had a smile.

Dan was.. dan.  he was our leader- although i know he would never say that.  it wasn't intentional.  

he just seemed to be the one everyone looked to at the events.

he was right up there with Nick with energy and smiles.  

he pushed us when we hesitated before the Electric Eel.

he pulled Goliath out of the Boa Constrictor as he struggled up the hill.

he did somersaults down part of one of the hills, just because.

he pushed me off Walk the Plank because i was scared 

(i asked him to push me)

C2TM.. you guys rocked! 

thank you for such a great day!

Thank you...

to the guy at the beginning, for pumping us up.

to the volunteers who encouraged & gave explanations of the best way to do an event.

to the volunteers who gave us water and bananas.

to the medics - i'm glad i didn't have to meet you.

to the guy who pulled me over the first hill in the mud mile.

to the lady who looked like she wanted to cry as we counted down to start - i wasn't alone.

to the guy who did the warrior carry with Nick, you were just cool.

to the Arctic Enema volunteers, your advice was great.

to the Walk the plank volunteer for not making me feel rushed.

to the 2 volunteers at Everest for the advice, i didn't smash my face.

to the girl i met at the mystery event, for applauding my attempt

to theresa for encouraging me to sign up in the first place... next year you're doing it with us! 

(but thanks for watching the kids and praying for us) 

The weather was beautiful.

the colors of the leaves were spectacular, and something to look at as you hiked up a ski hill.

Tough Mudder 2014!

More Mud!  

HOO RAH!

**Hey C2TM.. we completed the impossible!**

(this is from the website)

Play-by-play: The last 2 minutes of a Tough Mudder course

You just conquered 10-12 miles of Tough Mudder’s wrath – the only obstacle between you and the finish line is Electroshock Therapy®. You pause to gather your cojones, then try to run through the live wires without getting shocked (impossible). You get repeatedly zapped with 10,000 volts of electricity, and it does NOT tickle. After dropping your fair share of f-bombs, you cross the finish line. 

  

School Days round two: JK edition

The day is here!

anticipated since her 4th birthday.

it's finally here.

her first day of Junior Kindergarten.

it probably felt as though it was never going to happen.

but here it is.

yesterday she watched as her brother boarded the bus for grade 1.

this morning i was going to drive them for her first day.

she packed her lunch last night, 

both kids did.

and both were completely wired and off the wall.

they finally settled for sleep.

after some bouncing off the walls.

or at least that's what it sounded like from outside in the living-room.

*they are currently sharing a room because grandma & grandpa are living with us a for a short time*

this morning

i didn't want to get up, 

but i did and walked down into the dark, quiet bedroom.

"wake up you two, it's time to get up"

the girl rolled over.

"do you know what day it is?"

she mumbled

"it's your first day of school."

excitement couldn't flow over yet, she was a little too tired, 

but once she woke the excitement couldn't be contained.

even her brother was excited for her.

She had picked out her clothes for the day.

a pink dress from her cousin, 

because it flowed out when she twirled.

when it was time to go outside we got the first day of school photos.

*and a second day of school photo for her brother* 

she jumped and yelled "i'm going to school!", for the first photo.

off we went.

on the way i heard a little voice.

"mommy, i'm a little nervous to go to school."

i reminded her she had her brother's teacher from last year, whom she loved.

i also reminded her of a friend that would be in her class, 

and another girl from sunday school.

we parked and walked to the school.

down to her JK class.

her teacher made us all feel so welcome.  

my little girl placed her big backpack on the hook of her choice, and unpacked it.

we walked around the class to see what had changed since last year.

she sat on the carpet and looked up at me with her big blue eyes and smiled.

"i'm going to sit on the carpet."

then we went outside.

her friend naomi grabbed her hand and whisked her off to play.

Naomi is in SK, so she's an experienced school kid.

i stood there holding my boy's hand, 

i was choked up but this was what i expected.

my confident little girl.

my excited little girl.

no fear.

pure joy to be at school.

so different, yet similar, to her big brother.

i can now understand what my mom has told me over..and over..and over.

about my first day of school.

my brother had cried, it had been hard to leave him.

but i had run into the class without a look back.

she was a little me.

anxious to follow in her big brother's footsteps.

she even has his old teacher, just as i did.

then i had to help her brother find his teacher and line up.

this is another story, 

this is the boy's second day of school story.

there were tears

on his part and mine, 

as i left him at his class.

i can relate to him and his anxiousness so much.

i wiped the tears from my own eyes and left his room,

and headed to say bye to the girl as i left the school.

the kindergarten kids were outside playing still.

there she was.

 playing with Naomi. 

with a truck. 

in her pink dress. 

(and baseball cap, because her brother wears one to school)

talking to her ECE

*who is also the same ECE her brother had in JK*

she ran to me when she saw me.

hugged me.

gave me a kiss. 

then went back to making cement with Naomi.

my girl.

she has only one day of JK this week

but is she ever ready for it.

love you little girl.

you are strong. 

confident, 

yet cautious. 

precious. 

gentle, 

yet tough. 

silly, 

gorgeous, 

intelligent.

you will learn so much this year.

i'm excited to watch you and hear your stories.

i love you.

*excited brother*

School days: Gr. 1

age: 6

year in school: 3rd

grade: 1

class: 1-2 split

so this is what grade one feels like.

i'm an old pro...

no tears, not even choking them back.

i got a hug when the bus came, but that's the way it is with my boy.  

he even hugged his sister.

he cheered and danced around when he realized school would be happening when he woke in the morning.

he fell asleep quite quick.

i couldn't sleep.

*it may have been the tea i downed right before bed*

i kept thinking about this school year.

he would be grade 1 in a 1, 2 split class.

what will the scary grade twos be like?

he will be in recess with the rest of the school.

what will the scary grade 2-8s be like in the yard?  

i haven't met his teacher..

i haven't seen his class..

will he know where to go when he gets off the bus?  

will he like his teacher? 

will she encourage him, love him?  

will he be confident this year with older kids in the class, or will he be shy and nervous again?  

will i like his teacher?  

will he stand up for kids who are picked on? 

will he be picked on?  

will he pick on others?

why did i have to drink the tea?  

i could have been asleep a lot earlier.

maybe.

guess i'm not an old pro.

he does know one of the grade 2 kids, he's good friends with him, 

so that was an encouragement for me.

this morning he woke, 

had breakfast, 

we read a devotion together, 

prayed, 

brushed teeth, 

fed the cat, 

got dressed

 played for 10 minutes

got ready to go outside: raincoat and boots.

took his first day of school photos, 

brought out the compost for me

played while we waited for the bus, 

hugged me, 

hugged his sister, 

grabbed my hand when the bus came

*the tears threatened* 

and we walked to the door together.  

and off he went.

*i just realized...*

I forgot to wave goodbye as the bus drove away!

oh my little boy, 

i'm sorry i forgot.  

i was talking with your sister.

i always wave bye to you.

and either blow you a kiss or stick my tongue out at you...

i'm sorry, you were probably looking out the window at me

mommy loves you,

you sweet, crazy kid. 

have a super great day at school today.

you will do amazing.

you will make more friends.

you will be loved.

you are creative, 

smart, 

fun, 

cute, 

encouraging...

you are in grade one now.

looking forward to cuddle time with you when you get home.

park time

we left home on Friday.

no snow on the ground.

light flurries or rain on the way down to Toronto.

it was cold, but sunny.

on Saturday we went to the park for a bit.

before Thanksgiving Dinner.

swinging with daddy

 love to swing!

The kids spent so much time playing with their cousin Connor.

they adore him.

help me down, daddy.

when we got home, from Toronto, winter had hit.

that's ok.

winter can now come.

American Thanksgiving has come and gone, i can now think about Christmas.

in fact, 

our Santa Claus parade is this Friday night.

Leaves

What a beautiful day yesterday.

mid October and it felt like a late spring day.

before the boy got home from school 

my girl and i started raking leaves into a pile.

starting with my boy's first October, 

i have tried to get a kid pic every year in a pile of leaves.

yesterday i was determined to get this year's.

when the boy got home we got some pictures.

then we worked on making the pile bigger.

he got the wagon and used it as his trailer.

i raked.

then.

they.

JUMPED!

independence

Today my boy went to school with a white..

well,

formerly white, t-shirt.

his dark blue jeans have a hole in the knee.

that i noticed as we got ready to meet the bus.

his grey Finn McMissle socks used to be white.

at least his face was washed.

his hat will help his hair settle down.

when you tell a 5 year old to go pick out his clothes...

***

when my girl gets to pick her clothes 

she looks as though she is in pajamas..

she goes for the "comfy" look.

love their uniqueness...

their independence...

yet, thankful i still have veto power.

love you kids.

Thanksgiving

I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner. 

on Sunday

my parents and dan's parents are coming.

i love hosting dinners like this.

i am thankful for Thanksgiving.

why?

it is a day where i am made to think of what i am thankful for.

it's so easy to grumble.

to complain.

to nit-pick.

to criticize.

to frown.

 day to day.

it's easier to look at the problems

than the blessings.

10 things i am thankful for:

(in no particular order)

1. That God created this world, and that He loves me.

2. my husband.  

3. my kidlets.

4. my family 

(Boyles, Quiggs, Dixons, Spooners, Murphys, Stricklands, etc.etc.)

5. God is creative and has blessed me with creativity.

6. i have a house to live in.

7. my dad beat cancer.

8. autumn.

9. that Elijah loves school this year.

10. turkey dinners :)

i need to remember to be thankful all year round.

but i am thankful we have this weekend to focus on the blessings in our lives, 

because sometimes i forget to be thankful on a regular day.

What are some things you're thankful for?

Elijah's brought this home from school.  He figured out how to spell each of our names on his own.
Love how he spelled daddy

Dakota's work for Cubbies.
She had to draw the 6 days of creation.
in #1 it's a light bulb.  in #3 it's land..the big orange blob is a high mountain and the thin circle lines are the echo.