Old School

This morning i woke to the radio.

some chatting, the news, weather and then a song.

it was the song that brought memories flooding my mind.

the song was One by U2.

when i was in high school i had a crush.

he was my crush for all of my high school years.

he wasn't 'the hottest guy in school'

he wasn't a jock.

no, we never dated.

we were friends, and got along really well.

but didn't hang out much other than at school, and class projects/assignments.

that song made me remember him this morning.

i went to the formal at the end of high school.

i hadn't really wanted to.

i didn't want to spend the money on a dress and the ticket when i didn't even have a date.

but i had a couple persistent friends, and they became my dates.

they even bought me a wrist corsage - sweet girls.

the overall formal i didn't care for.

sure, i was out on the dance floor for the faster songs, having fun with my friends.

and i was asked to dance a couple of the slower songs with a friend's date, and then another guy friend.

nothing spectacular though.

there were times i was hanging out at our table watching the dancing when i was wondering why i bothered - i didn't care for events like that.

i had just danced a song with someone - no memory who that person was, 

when One by U2 began.

U2 was my absolute favorite band during high school - they are still very high on my list.   

i was about to walk off the dance floor and take a seat, again.

then my high school crush approached and asked me to dance.

i had seen him walking over, but didn't think it would be me he was coming to.

that was my highlight of the night.

favorite song, favorite guy at school.

so, hearing the song this morning...and many times i hear it... reminded me of that night, that dance.

i don't dwell on him, 

i don't sit and wonder what-ifs, 

but it brings back a fond memory of a friend.

it makes me curious about what he's doing now, where he is.

and i pray for him.

we both graduated, but went back to high school for another year.  

i went back to the same school, he changed schools.

we saw each other a couple times that year when he'd come visit.

he was intelligent, quiet, friendly, kind to everyone, lots of fun.

everyone has people that they have in the past that they think about now and again that don't affect their present.  

he was a high school crush.

i don't search him on facebook, 

i don't think about him and let my past crush form into dreams or anything ridiculous like that.

i don't compare him to my husband.  

nope, i cherish the memory.

i pray for him and i return back to the present.  

the one i thought about while out for my run *2

tree tops were swaying.

the light green of leaf underbellies were revealed as the branches waved hello.

clouds were sailing through the sky.

the winds were refreshing after the temperatures we've had lately.

but...

it was coming at me.

as i was running..

uphill.

yet, still refreshing.

i arrived at my turnaround. 

and began the trek home.

ever notice when you're running..walking..the wind seems to never be at your back.

you have it in your face all one way and then when you do a 180* there it is again, 

greeting you face to face.

"come on.. come up from behind"

i mumbled as i continued running.

it changed direction.  

not full back, but from the side..ish.

good enough.

have you ever wanted to be swept up by the wind?

not like tornado - welcome to Oz, 

or hurricane - impaled onto something.

but swept up and carried away.

like an eagle. 

soaring on the wind currents, how peaceful they appear.

(especially compared to the panic of a duck flying haha) 

or like a kite.

without the nosedive back to earth when the wind stops.

or like a butterfly.

gently fluttering to the flowers in the garden...

the wind grabs them and there they are flying backward, or sideways.

that's what i wanted.

oh, tonight i just wanted to be swept up and blown home to my husband and kids, 

but sometimes when i feel a strong wind hit me i want to be carried away, 

on an adventure.

into the sky, to see the world from an eagle's view.

so when the wind changed and came from the side i did what i needed to do.

i jumped up.

it didn't catch me and fly me today...

so i ran home.

it's that day already.

So.

today's the day.

the last day of school for the 2012/2013 school year.

today's the day.

the day the boy brings home his report card.

today's the day.

the last day of the boy's kindergarten years!

when i pick up my boy after school today he will no longer be a senior kindergartener.

he will be a grade one boy.

wow.

two years done.

last year was difficult for him, 

1st day of JK.

but this year has been amazing!

1st day of SK

he has grown so much, 

learned so much.

he has gained much more confidence in who he is.

i have loved watching him grow this year.

the laughter as he tells me funny stories from school.

friendships have been made that could very possibly last through his school years.

i am so proud of my boy.

last night at prayer time 

he asked me if we could ask Jesus to give him a teacher that he loves lots like he had this year.

i have already been praying for his next teacher, 

but to hear him ask...

*insert tears here*

i asked him is he wanted to sleep in on Thursday morning.

he said no, and that he wants me to wake him at normal time.

when i inquired as to why 

he smiled, 

"i have a lot of things planned for the first day, i'll sleep in the next day."

my baby.

not a baby anymore.

here he's reading a book i made in grade school.

probably not much older then him now.

this is him with his SK teacher, Mrs. Moore.

she has been wonderful.

he adores her.  

dakota is hoping to have Mrs Moore next year.

waiting for the bus on the last day of school...

and kindergarten.

with one of the gifts we made for his teachers and bus driver.

huntsville half

the first goal i had for the year was to run 10K in our town's race.

www.huntsvillehalf.com

this past weekend was the race.

I ran 10K.

the hills were brutal.

i thought i was going to vomit on one uphill.

i didn't.

i also didn't stop at all.. 

i ran my first 10K.

 10K results: Here.

i came in 169th out of 213.

34th out of 44 in my age category.

i ran it in 1:06:43

i am pretty proud of myself.

i felt good..

the next day i was a little sore.

next thing isn't planned until the Terry Fox Run in Sept.

who am i more proud of then myself?

my friend and my husband.

my friend Theresa.

8 weeks ago she decided to sign up for the 5K race.

and began training.

we ran/walked the course a couple weeks ago to check it out.

there were some hills... we live in muskoka there can't be a run without hills.

that morning i wasn't able to see her race start, the 10K runners were already off and running.

i did pray for her while i was running.

that she would have the strength to run the whole thing.

that was her goal.

when i finished she was already back.

she had done it!

she had run the whole way.

i was so proud of her.  

she's one of my fellow Tough Mudders in Training.

she encourages me.

My husband Dan.

he decided he wanted to do the half marathon.

he made my training schedule, and his own.

he was also out running in the middle of winter.

his runs got longer as the time went on.

i got to see him start his race.

my dad and kids were also there.

during my run i was heading up a hill and i thought about dan, 

he was running double what i was and had to do the same hills.  

i prayed for him.

for the strength.

i was so proud of him already.

he had encouraged me.

i hope i was as big an encouragement to him.

when i finished i talked with Dan's parents at the finish line

then went to find the kids so we could be at the finish line when daddy came.

i was over at the park when i heard his name called.

i missed his finish.

i wasn't there when he crossed that line.

my emotions were mixed.

so excited he was done faster than he expected.

but i hadn't been there to cheer for him.

*his parents were there though.*

he did so well.

he came in 6th overall.

and 3rd in his age category.

his hope was for a top 10 finish.

i listened to other half marathoners congratulate him on his run.  

i was so proud of my husband.

the run was saturday.

it's tuesday now.

and his birthday.

happy birthday to my inspiring husband.

love you.

*photo taken by Danae.  someone who inspires us to stay fit, stay active.  

Danae we love you.  

The speech i would have made.

Hi.

My name is michelle, i am the ancient one in this wedding party.

and i am honored to be a part of this day.

i have actually known the groom's side longer, but adore this beautiful, blushing bride and feel as though i have known her forever.

for those of you who have worked with youth, in a youth group, camp, sports team setting you will understand me when i say that although you love all the kids you get to know there are some that will forever hold a place in your heart.  there's a connection that does not go away easily.

when i got married just over 10 years ago my husband and i were youth leaders at church.  there was this newly dating couple that i immediately adored.  that was brother number 1, and his beautiful, now wife.  Then brother number 2 began attending.  He was great.  i had fun with him as a youth and am so glad to see him married to a beautiful woman with 2 adorable kids.  then sibling 3 attended youth.  it was a girl this time.  shy, quiet, i think she knew how to speak...  sweet, gentle, compassionate... she was a beauty then and has grown even more beautiful.   the siblings didn't stop.  there were 2 more.  2 more boys.  i had heard about them before they ever came to youth.

the 4th and 5th... well, i just loved this family.  

my husband and i connected with these kids too.  and teased them.  Jon and Ben...yes, i called then Jon & Ben! *gasp*

i watched them grow from quiet kids to the strong, bold, confident men they have become now.  Mr & Mrs W.  you have raised fine children.  thank you for allowing me to be a part of their lives as a youth leader and now friend.

i remember the year that a beautiful blond young lady arrived at youth.  i believe i saw Jon's heart flutter!  when she was at youth she was right there with Jon and Ben.  

she is beautiful. 

inside and out.

she is full of compassion, love, smiles.  she truly cares for her friends.

i loved getting to know this young lady in her high school years.

we had great talks, times of prayer, tears, searching the Scriptures, laughter.

my husband and i watched as Jon and Cailagh became friends.

we watched as their attraction grew.  hearing them admit to liking the other one...finally.

hearing the story about him asking her mom permission to date her.

watching them seek God's desire for their lives.   how they went away to school and missed each other like crazy.

the realization that they loved each other.

when we began doing church plays together i believe that was when my husband and my roles were altering from leaders to friends.  we were connecting on a different level, as equals, and i believe it was as God planned.  the age gap, life gap, it was still there but beginning to fade out of the picture.

i loved that i could give advice, or be an ear to listen.

then it happened.

Jon proposed.

he did it!

so exciting.

they came by and told us their story!

then i had the opportunity to take some engagement photos with them.

so much fun.  have i said how much i adore these two?

and Cailagh asked me to be a bridesmaid.

i know i don't wear my emotions on my sleeve, but i felt honored, shocked, blessed, surprised, why me?  i knew we were close but i hadn't expected that.  

thank you.

so much.

so here we are.

we have all just watched as they said their vows, placed the rings, kissed!

all the stress that goes into a wedding... that's all behind us.

now stands before us the beginning.

the beginning of the life as mr. & mrs.  

the commitment, promise.

not an easy road.

but a wonderful road.  

Jon and Cailagh.

thank you for allowing me to be this special role in your day.

God has blessed my family by bringing both of your families into our life. 

by bringing you two into our life.

i commit to pray for you, to share experience when needed, to encourage you, to love you.

    

*pictures from my camera will be edited and posted shortly on www.lifethrulenz.blogspot.com

the one i thought about while out for my run.

my dad bought me a book for mother's day.

the book was titled: Born to Run.

see here for book info.

i haven't read it yet. 

i will though, it sounds pretty fascinating.

i was excited to get this book.

i thought it was funny that i was excited.

it was a book about running.

but i hate running...

when i was a kid i hated running unless it was a race with a friend for fun.

unless it was in another sport, like soccer, baseball, football, rugby, frisbee...

i did track.

in grade school.

i ran the 100m, 200m, 400m, 1500m.

the 1500 nearly killed me!

i never did it well.

i never did it because i enjoyed it.

i enjoyed hurdles.

i enjoyed long jump and triple jump (i know it's not a real event).

i HATED running.

when i first got married to a man who enjoys running, i tried it out.

it's supposed to be good for the body.

gave up.

so not worth it.  let me go for a nice long walk.

i had a kid.

i hated the baby belly.

hubby recommended running as one form of exercise.

tried it.

hated it.

gave up.

i had a second kid.

i hated the baby belly on top of previous baby belly.

hubby recommended running as one form of exercise.

tried it.

knew it was a good idea.

The Terry Fox run is something i had always wanted to do.

but i hated running.

i read, watched, heard somewhere that Terry Fox didn't like running.

i don't know if it's completely true, but if he could run it there was no reason why i couldn't.

i began running..

hating it.

dreading it.

i ran/walked the 5km terry fox run.

didn't run again until the next summer.

ran the 5km (a couple very short walks within it) terry fox run.

didn't run again until the next summer.

i ran the 5km!

it hurt.

i did feel good after a run..

when i wasn't gasping for breath.

i liked the sore muscles - - yes, that's strange, but i really do.

we decided to do Tough Mudder this Sept.

i have no endurance.

i also wanted to do the 10km Terry Fox in Sept.

then i decided i wanted to do our town's 10km run (www.huntsvillehalf.com) 

what?

was i crazy?

training began in January.

outside.

in the snow.

in the cold.

i have worked up from dying at a 2km run to dying at a 8.5km run.

my minimum run is now a 5km.  

i find myself enjoying my run - most days.

finding that i can push myself that little bit further.

sometimes even picking up my speed and trying to sprint at the last 100m or so.

sometimes i look at other people out there running and think 

"oh, i hope i don't look like that."

sometimes i look at other people out there running and think

"oh, i wish i looked like that when i run."

when i run i sometimes try not to trip over my own feet.

my arms and shoulders are not always relaxed.

my strides are short, then long, then short.

my breathing isn't steady, and i'm trying to catch my breath.

sometimes i started out feeling great and ran faster than my body wants to do for the whole distance.

my face, neck and sometimes arms go a blotchy red... even when i feel i've had a great run.

but i'm running.

and i'm enjoying it.

i feel great.

i love the muscle pain because i know i've earned it.

i am running for my own health.

i'm running for my kids, as an example of staying active and having energy to play with them.

i'm running for my dad.  who runs the terry fox run with me.

i'm running to be able to have the endurance to make it from event to event at Tough Mudder.

i realized when i picked up that book on Mother's day, 

and was excited about it, 

that i don't hate running anymore.

i enjoy running.

there.

public confession.

(i have the right to withdraw my confession while on my 9km run this weekend)

cherished moments

this was my status on facebook the other day.  

thought i'd share it with you all 

(again, for fb friends)

Part 1:

the little girl and her mom were about to say prayers before bed. 

the little girl looked at mom, "you still love me even when i hurt my knee." 

(the little girl had fallen and hurt her knee earlier that evening) 

mommy smiled at her as she put her arm around her. 

leaning to whisper to her little girl, "mommy loves you even when you get mad at me." 

little girl smiled her huge, joyful, smile... 

then started to giggle for reasons only the little girl knew.

Part 2:

the boy came out of his room to see what mom was doing. 

She told him he needed to go to bed. 

he said that he wished that there was no night so that he could stay out here and only need to take long naps.
"when you get older you'll be allowed to stay up later." said mom
the smile formed on the boy's face "will i still be with you when i'm allowed to stay up?"
mom nodded, "yep. you'll still be with me. but you may not want to be with me." 

confusion crossed the boy's face.
"why not?"
mom looked into his beautiful blue eyes, and told him, 

"some kids don't want to be with their parents when they get older."
the boy smiled at his mom, his eyes shining, "i'll want to be with you."
the mom's heart warmed as he continued "i'll always want to be with you."
wow, mom adores her little boy so much.

mom

i remember going to church when i was younger.

it was mother's day.

over the years the mothers had received a carnation or some flower.

one year i remember that all the females in the church were given a carnation.

i received a carnation for mother's day.

why?

because. 

some were currently mothers, 

 or one day to be biological moms, 

or adoptive moms, 

or foster moms, 

or surrogate moms,

every female in the church would at some point in their lives 'mother' someone.

in some way.

we were all appreciated that day.

y'know what i was most excited about.

I GOT A FLOWER!

i was a nanny for a few years, 

i cherished the boys i cared for.  

i was not their mom, but i 'mothered' them when their own mom wasn't there.

one day the middle son..

he wasn't listening.

i sent him to his room.

he yelled at me "i hate you!"

my stomach immediately tightened, 

the tears immediately surfaced.

my little lukey..

he hated me.

i knew it was only because he was mad.

it still tore at my heart.

when i went home that night i bawled.

wow.

i adored those children, and realized how much when faced with that.

now 

i am a mom.

i have two beautiful children.

i adore them.

i fight for them.

i encourage them.

i cherish them.

i teach them.

i love them.

i feed them.

i pray for them.

i also get mad at them.

 i am hurt by them.

i cry for & with them.

i laugh at their antics.

i laugh with them.

i discipline them when it's needed.

they can tear at my heart when they get mad at me.

they touch my heart when they smile at me.

i am not perfect.

i mess up.

i get mad at them when i shouldn't.

i sometimes expect them to know what i'm meaning when i've barely explained it.

i've yelled.

i've stormed off and locked myself in the bathroom.

i've had to give myself a time out in my room.

i've had to go to my child and apologize...

and ask for forgiveness.

i compare myself to other moms.

and know i need to stop.

I am blessed to be a mom to these precious children.

they are a gift from God.

He gave them to ME.

He wanted ME to be their MOM.

i thank Him daily.

                          

 

i heard somewhere once 

"if i am perfect then i don't need to point my kids to God."

i have been learning that daily.  

***

on a similar note:

i had many moms as a child.

i had my mom.

she gave birth to me, raised me, taught me about God, loved me, cared for me, fed me, disciplined me, laughed with me, cried with me, prayed for me.

 i had my friends' moms.

they helped me, loved me, cared for me, fed me, sent me home when i needed disciplining, laughed with me, cried with me, they showed e God's love.

if i was sad, upset, hurt, excited, scared, nervous, happy...

i could go to my mom...

but also to any of these other moms.  

there were some ladies in my church who were also moms to me.

some didn't have kids.

they taught me about God, loved me, cared for me, sometimes fed me, taught me how to be so i didn't need to be disciplined, laughed with me, cried with me.

a mom is so much more than even what i pointed out above.

thank you to the 'moms' that helped raise me

thank you for your prayers, your love and time.

Happy Mother's Day

my main mom Jeanine. 

my surrogate moms 

lois.s

mary.w 

pams p&m

elsie.m

nancy.y

lynn.y

donna.b

oh wow, i know i'm leaving so many out... 

and a special happy mother's day to my mother in law.

she came into my life when i was already older, and i am thankful for the mother she is to me too. 

reminder from my girl.

On Sunday i went with my little girl to Canadian Tire.

While driving there i told her i just needed to return an item.

she asked me if she could stay in the car while i did that.

i told her no she had to come in with me.

"but you're just bringing that back and i can wait here for you."

i told her she wasn't allowed to wait in the car by herself.

she wouldn't be by herself. "i have lammie"

i told her lammie isn't an adult.

"but i have lammie and God."

my initial thought was god doesn't count.

she has a stuffed lamb whose name is god.  

that's right. 

a lamb named god.

"do you mean you have lammie and god your lamb?"

she laughed and told me no.  

she meant God, God.  

she proceeded to tell me that with lammie and God in the car with her she should be allowed to stay.

God is with her every where she goes.

He watches over her.

and takes care of her.

she told me then that no matter what God is with her.

"i can't hide from God."

i asked her if Jonah tried to run away from God.

"yeah, but he forgot that you can't run away from God, because God is already there. 

He sees you everywhere."

*there was more to the conversation, about the police, and about having an adult with her..

but those were the key points.*

thank you for the reminder little one.

-she forgot about her argument.  she did come in with me.-

vomit

i was so sick of vomit this week.

i have a boy.

he's now missed a whole week of school.

it all began sunday.  

very early on Monday to be more accurate.

our boy yelled 

"i'm going to throw up!"

dan threw off the covers, 

ran downstairs, 

through the living room, 

throwing open the boy's bedroom door, 

climbed the ladder to the loft bed, 

help the boy get down...

then carried him rapidly to the bathroom.  

threw open the toilet lid/seat.

nope.  

nothing.

brought him back to his bed.

he slept the rest of the night.

in the morning i went to wake him and see if he'd be up for school, 

since nothing actually happened that night.

he was barely coherent.

i decided to let him sleep and keep him home..better safe than sorry.

called the school's safe arrival line:

"my son...in this class...will not be there today, as he's home sick.  

if he feels better later on i'll bring him to school." 

he slept til 9.  then he came out to the couch.

the vomit started at noon.

he hadn't eaten breakfast but was drinking lots.

i had a friend who was able to come watch him, and the girl, while i ran out for groceries.

he had thrown up 2 times when i left..

4 times while i was gone.  

not a good day for the little guy.

he went to sleep on the futon in the livingroom for the night.

i honestly don't know how many times i was down with him in that night.

sometimes to throw up, others just feeling like it.

tuesday:

"hello, my son..in this class..will not be there today, as he's home sick still."

another long day.

lots of water going in.

vomit going out.

sleeping.

kids cbc.

repeat.

that night i put a mattress on his floor and he slept there.

i think i was down about 6 times through the night.

wednesday:

"hello, my son..in this class..will not be there today, as he's still home sick."

another long day.

lots of water going in.

vomit going out..

but not as many...in fact i would think we were done...then ...."i'm going to be sick!"

sleeping.

"I can't sleeeep!"

kids cbc.

**by the way, his sister was great over these days.  

big help, listened well.  prayed Jesus would make him better.**

i slept on the futon with him.

i say slept.  

i think we both slept from about 3:30 - 6.

his stomach was so not good.  

he hadn't eaten since sometime Sunday.

he had the constant vomitous feeling.

he drank a lot, thankfully.

then at about 3:30 he vomited.  

some on me.

some on him.

most in the bowl.

after, he fell asleep almost immediately.

thursday:

"hello, my son..in this class..will not be there today.  he's still sick."

i showered.

he wouldn't eat.

he felt like he was going to throw up constantly.

he was half asleep all day.

so groggy and weak.

he had definitely lost weight.

he wasn't drinking so much now either.

grandma came by with applesauce and a fun sticker book for the sickie (and his sister to share)

after lunch a friend came and picked up the girl for the afternoon.   

thank you.

i had a strange conversation with the boy.

about some animals. from school...

he seemed to be in a dream state.

i was taking him to emerg.

he was dehydrated.  

all the water he had drank was vomited out.

and he hadn't eaten since sunday.

i took him in.

he cried while we were waiting.

"i feel better mommy.  i want to go home."

i didn't believe him.  well not both statements.

we got to see the nurse.

then we went to wait in the next waiting room.

he fell asleep on me.

we were called in, brought to a room.

asked the same questions again.

he got to lay on a bed with a warm blanket.

then the medical student came in.

got asked similar and new questions.

sickie got checked out.

then the doctor came in.

they were going to give him some medicine to settle his stomach.

then they'd start getting some liquids into him orally.

and we waited.

the pill was brought.

he fought it.

he fought the drink - spilled some.

i think one teeny tiny sip got into him.

he drank a couple sips of dan's Tim Horton's Apple Juice.

then fought any more.

he had a sip of his water bottle and fought any more.

dan brought the girl home to get her ready for bed.

the doctor told me that he wasn't too worried about the boy.

that he wasn't too far along with dehydration.

he didn't want to have to do an iv unless it was necessary.

so he figured now that the stomach was settled the boy would be able to begin drinking and eating in a more comfortable setting of home.

we could go.

seriously?

so away we went.

with my boy telling me he would drink and eat now.

i wouldn't believe it until i saw it.

this morning:

the boy slept through the night.  yay.

"hello, my son..in this class..will not be there today.  he's still sick."

grandma came and got the girl for the day. 

thank you.

he had 2 cheerios, with water to wash them down.

he had a couple bites of applesauce. 

some sips of water.

is watching kids shows on tv.

i have in total given him 6 bites of applesauce.

he is drinking his water...small, slow sips.

he doesn't want to go to the hospital again.

thats my week.

on tuesday i was feeling crappy.

i was feeling sorry for myself.

i was tired.

i had to run to the store after dan got home.

i ran into a girl i had worked at the bank with back before i had the boy.

we hadn't seen each other since then.

we were talking about what was going on with life.

i mentioned that my boy was at home with the flu.

during the conversation she mentioned that her husband had cancer.

they've been married 3 years..today.

the first round of chemo didn't work.

he's now in the hospital for 3 weeks to receive a stronger dose.

it's only a couple doses right at the beginning, but then he's admitted for about 3 weeks because he needs to recover from it.

wow.  

it made me refocus.

my attitude when taking care of my little boy was definitely altered.

he wasn't a frustration.

he is my boy, my first born, i'm his mommy.

i can take care of him. i love him.

Kindergarten. round 2: the girl.

oh my little one.

you are 4 

(and a month..almost)

you are already older then your brother was when he started Junior Kindergarten.

yet, you don't go until September.

Yesterday we went to the Ready for Kindergarten day.

you were so excited.

you were going to go on your first - ever- school bus ride.

you had hoped Elijah's bus driver would be driving.  

but when i told you she wouldn't be, you accepted it without any problems.

when we arrived you very quietly,

so quiet i could barely hear,

said your name.

you couldn't remember the school name except for Public school.

i helped you out by adding the first part.

then you got it.

the backpack.

a HUGE...pink Backpack!

i think the fact that you just stared at it confused the lady showing you it - 

she proceeded to ask if maybe you had wanted a blue one instead.

which, of course, you quickly shook your head and reached out for it.

yes, my dear, it is yours!

we met up with Andrew, his brothers and mom.

you two were standing with your crazy-huge backpacks on.

you looked way too small to be starting school in a few months.

we went out to wait for the school bus.

your eyes were so big and bright as it pulled up.

in line you followed the other kids onto the bus, accepting help with the steps.

you and andrew were going to sit together.

front seat.

i sat behind you.

the two of you just chatted while the bus was driving.

you looked for our church as we passed it. 

no fear of being on it with no car seat.  or seatbelt.

just two friends chatting, watching out the window, riding a school bus - no biggie.

while going around to check out the other displays you were so hyper.

you took your shoes off and ran around.

when you were asked what school you'd be going to you said the name confidently.

sad to leave, but we had to my dear.

next month we'll be going to your actual school for an intro to kindergarten night.

i'm not telling you about that yet.

oh, my little one.

you were a baby not too long ago.

you want to go to school

you wanted to go the day you turned 4.

please wait a little longer.

i am excited to see you go to school, to learn, to play, to make friends...

but not yet.

you're still my little one.

from the mouths of babes

i have 2 kids.

i adore them.

when they pray i can't help but smile.

my heart has a tightening, my throat constricts..

*no i am not having a heart attack or an allergic reaction.*

i am holding back tears.

pure joy as a parent who loves God and is listening to my children speak to God with love.

at the beginning of January both kids asked Jesus to come live in their hearts with them. 

http://mquigg-justbeingmyself.blogspot.ca/2013/01/il-divo-amazing-grace.html

since then my son has added a part to his regular prayer.

original prayer:

"dear Jesus

thank you for the food.

thank you for the sunshine.

amen."

now: 

"dear Jesus

thank you for the food

and the sunshine.

thank you that you love us 

thank you that you know us."

at night he gets a little more personal, usually.

a couple nights ago:

"dear Jesus 

thank you for the food

and the sunshine

thank you that you love us

thank you that you know us

thank you that you made us

thank you that you made the world

thank you that you made space so the world has somewhere to float."

we had just been at 2 birthday parties over the weekend.

last night - 

"dear Jesus

thank you for the food

and the sunshine

thank you that you love us 

and that you know us.

thank you that you made us born so we could have birthdays

so we could grow up."

my boy was up in the night feeling sick.

it was just me and my girl for breakfast.

she wanted to be the one to pray, so i reminded her to pray for her brother.

"dear jesus

thank you for the food and the sunshine 

(yes, she's adopted her brother's prayer)

thank you please help elijah feel better.

amen"

so simple.

so clear.

i love it.

solar-charged nite lites

September or 2012 my friend posted this blog entry

http://iamstricklyspeaking.blogspot.ca/2012/09/powers-out-friday-links.html

in it there was a link to 'A CUTE DIY'.

i loved the idea.

i wanted mason jar solar lights.

so i finally found garden lights at the dollar store.

i bought one and made my first mason jar solar light.

i put glass stones in the bottom for decoration

and some yarn to wrap around the top.

this was taken on a full moon - with no flash.  it didn't go green until i took the picture.

then..

 the other day...

 i had a new idea for this mason jar craft.

i was going to make the kids solar powered night lights!

off to the dollar store i headed.

found pink and a green garden lights.

i found the jars i was going to use.

and made handles out of some wire i had.

and...

tada!

the kids carry these into their rooms at bedtime.

they stay lit all night long

and in the morning the kids bring them back out to the dining room table to charge for the day.

**thank you V for your great links.. i miss those entries, i hope you start them again when things settle down.**

check her out at www.iamstricklyspeaking.blogspot.ca 

slacking

so.

i've been slacking in my Tough Mudder training.

not in my running..

but everything else.

i got sick.

dan got sick.

i made excuses.

i ran when i was sick, but nothing else.

i'm building up my running distance.

i have been running since the beginning of January.

i don't like running - i've told you that before.

the other day 

(ok, in reality it was a couple weeks ago)

when we did our usual "what was your favorite part of the day?" question i shocked my husband.

"my run." 

he never thought he'd hear that from my mouth.

but i honestly did enjoy my run.

i had done my best time for 4 km.

over the winter i ran outside.

i did the indoor track once

i hated it.

i enjoy running outside.

one of the many winter runs was cold. 

snowy. 

windy.

while i was running i was tired.

cold.

my face was getting wind burned.

maybe it was the snow blowing around me.

maybe i just hated running.

but i came to the conclusion that...

wait for it...

...

...

I was ROCKY!

that's right.

I was in the middle of Russia.

training to do the impossible.

beat Ivan Drago.

i wish i had the training determination Rocky had.

(but i guess Tough Mudder (my Ivan Drago) didn't kill my best friend and mentor.)

*i did carry a small tree out of the bush on the weekend. * 

i need the music.

i ran this morning (and what a beautiful winter day it was...oh..it's spring)

and ran my best time.

33:14 for 5km.  

(remember, i'm also planning to run a 10km race in June)

so.. 

i need to get my Rocky butt in gear.

i need to get my hands on the makeshift monkey bars dan put up for me 

(a ladder on the basement ceiling)

..i need to get climbing.

get running up our back hill...carrying a kid or a log.  

i need to be doing everything i can.  

Tough Mudder I have one last thing to say to you:

i must break you.

love this