i have a daughter.

i'll be honest.

i always wanted boys.

if i had to have a daughter i wanted her second.

but i wanted my son first.

i was a second, and last, child.

i had an older brother.

if i had to have a girl i wanted her to experience having an older brother.

if i had to have a girl.

i wanted boys.

only boys.

i had a boy first.

"it's a girl"

i heard after the second labor experience.

i actually paused in my reaction.

they were the words i, honestly, expected

but not the words i wanted to hear.

i had a girl.

oh crap..that means girl puberty.

that means girl crazy emotions.

i pray my daughter grows into a woman who seeks God

i pray she has confidence, strength, beauty...

i pray she knows her beauty is in her character not her physicality.

i need to be that example.

oh crap.

i adore my daughter.

she easily laughs.

she easily smiles.

she hugs.

she giggles.

she has crazy energy.

she is adventurous.

she is fearful.

she loves to sing.

she loves to dance.

she has an amazing imagination.

she adores her older brother.

she wants to do everything her older brother does.

she is shy.

she is social.

she loves jokes.

she needs mommy when she is sad.

we have been spending tons of time together since her brother has been in full time school.

i don't know why i, ever, hesitated in responding.

I have a daughter.

i have a beautiful, crazy, adorable girl.

she had my heart when i saw those awesome huge blue eyes.

I love you 'kota-girl'.

don't ever doubt that.